The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences and only governmental actions can solve the problem. Do you agree or disagree?

The declining number of housing in some parts of the world will lead to severe
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
and only
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
can solve the
problem
. I agree with the statement and
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that the phenomenon
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
from high
inflation
experienced each year. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years,
inflation
has soared rapidly affecting every
product
Change noun form
product's
show examples
costs to increase in high percentages including housing prices. The
high priced
Add a hyphen
high-priced
show examples
properties made it hard for most citizens to afford,
therefore
, resulting
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
limited variants of housing available. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
, anyone can get an adequate house for
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
thousand dollars decades back,
however
, now we can only rent small apartments for the same amount of money.
Moreover
, with rich people
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
excessive money, they often use it to buy more properties as a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
investment, leaving behind the poor left with no homes affordable on the market.
This
issue will lead to citizens
suffered
Change the form of the verb
suffering
show examples
from finding a house to settle and in turn making them
not able
Correct word choice
unable
show examples
to find proper jobs and continue life.
On the other hand
, there are several acts that governments can take to reduce the damage the housing
problem
causes.
First,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
needs to limit the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of properties bought by the rich.
This
will help dramatically by preventing the housing number
to go
Change preposition
from going
show examples
down from only a faction of people owning it.
Second,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
needs to take action regarding
inflation
to keep it low,
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
fixing the
economies
Fix the agreement mistake
economy
show examples
from inside and outside of the country.
As a result
, costs will persist to go above the normal range. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
emphasize
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
problem
Correct article usage
the problem
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
as it happened from high
inflation
, and
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
severe
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
to society.
In addition
, governments must take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
to solve the
problem
as soon as possible.
Submitted by ssannyssss on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. Use a variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more fully with relevant specific examples and explanations to support your argument. This helps provide depth to your response and demonstrates your ability to explore ideas.
task achievement
A complete response must address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Make certain that both sides of the argument are considered if the question requires it and that your opinion is clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
It's important to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Work on organizing your thoughts and providing clear explanations to ensure that the reader can follow your reasoning easily.
task achievement
Examiners look for specific examples that effectively support your main points. These examples must be relevant and should illustrate the point you're making in a way that strengthens your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: