Some people believe that all students should be required to study a foreign language in school. Others feel that it is not necessary and that students should have the freedom to choose whether or not to study a foreign language. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #students #study #language #school #freedom

Disagreements on whether

students

should be studying a foreign

language

in educational institutions

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

remained controversial. Some people say it is a crucial subject because it provides more opportunities in the future,

while

others think

students

should be independent

to select

Change preposition

in selecting

show examples

what they want to learn.

Although

, in my opinion, the latter option gives them more freedom, having a foreign

language

course in schools’ curricula is still necessary. A foreign

language

such

as English, has been evidenced as an essential subject for all

students

in every school. Because English is an official

language

globally, the ability to competently utilize it expands more opportunities in future careers where competition is climbing in recent times. The hire rate of individuals who have the ability to communicate in English in Thailand,

for instance

, is higher than the others who barely keep enhancing their proficiency.

This

showcases that foreign

language

-educated

students

will certainly acquire

utmost

Correct article usage

the utmost

show examples

advantages from their schools.

However

, it is said that

students

should be supported to study independently without being constrained

Change preposition

show examples

learning subjects they are not interested in, like a foreign

language

Instead

, they should be encouraged to explore more about themselves, and schools can evaluate what to provide to them from that.

For example

, one of my high school friends had never seriously studied a foreign

language

classe

Correct your spelling

class

classes

, but she was

Correct your spelling

show examples

high achiever in mathematics and science.

As a result

, it led her to become a superior engineer. From my perspective, a foreign

language

does not only offer a chance to obtain a highly competitive job, but it

also

broadens the

students

' communities as there are higher circumstances where they might encounter and must communicate with immigrants who are present within various communities can be found a lot nowadays.

Overall

, sparing the knowledge and capability to use a foreign

language

provided by schools is compulsory for

students

, and the freedom to choose whether to study a foreign

language

or not should not be an option.

Submitted by djruby19 on Tue Nov 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve coherence.

task achievement

Your ideas are expressed well, but consider elaborating on your points a bit more for added clarity.

task achievement

You provided a balanced discussion of both views, clearly articulating the advantages and disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, effectively summarizing the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that all students should be required to study a foreign language in school. Others feel that it is not necessary and that students should have the freedom to choose whether or not to study a foreign language. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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