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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree

#people #subjects #arts #music #drama #children #timetable
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In recent years, many
people
 have become more interested in their hobbies and what they want to be in the future. So, some
people
 believe that studying artistic
subjects
 should learn more. I totally agree with that statement because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learning interesting things may succeed in our life. It is true to say that understanding what numerous
people
 should learn in artistic
subjects
 than theoretical
subjects
such
 as Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics. When one of the learners is acquiring skills in
art
, they can concentrate more than others on everything. Researchers
also
 prove that artistic
people
 have more creative ideas and innovation.
For example
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of famous artists like Taylor Swift, BTS and Blackpink have really enjoyed
art
 and dancing since they were children.
Consequently
, they become some of the most famous
people
 not only in
art
 but
also
 in others like environment.
Furthermore
, arts dominate everywhere and
every
Change preposition
in every
show examples
 sector
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the planet. Some politicians and environmentalists support many artists in many ways because an artist can influence their audience by painting, singing, writing poems and acting. One of the remarkable things happened in the United States’ history. In
2020
Correct article usage
the 2020
show examples
 election, Taylor Swift encouraged her audience to vote for Joe Biden with her song called “Only The Young”. In conclusion, any kind of
art
 is really important for everyone and every sector. That’s why, artistic
subjects
 should be included in the schedule,
moreover
, it can reduce their stress and pressure.
As a result
, I totally agree to learn
art
 more than others.
Submitted by thurasoe1992.ac on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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