IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The best way to solve the world‘s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world‘s #price #fuel
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A group of
people
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 believe that increasing the
price
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 of
fuel
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 is the ideal method to combat environmental issues across the globe. I,
on the other hand
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, do not agree with
this
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 argument since it appears to me that the best way of dealing with
this
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 problem is to increase awareness of
this
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issue
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.
Although
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 I cannot deny that raising the
fuel
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price
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 would alleviate
this
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issue
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 in the short term, the problem will remain the same for a long period. The main reason is that in human psychology the more you increase the demand the more
people
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 work hard to achieve it.
Thus
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, from
this
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 standpoint, it could be said that if a
fuel
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price
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 is raised to handle the global environmental
problems
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,
people
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 will try not to lose their demand, which is
fuel
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 in
this
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 case or
in other words
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 convenience. In
this
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 way, they will not even be aware of solving global environmental issues.
Instead
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, folks will consider
this
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 change as punishment.
Nevertheless
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, I firmly believe that solving
this
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 problem is related to
people
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 themselves or their minds. If starting from school years everyone is educated about the importance of natural resources and protecting them, it would have long-lasting effects.
Apart from
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this
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, if social networking websites are forced to prepare programs about the significance of nature and solving existing
problems
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 in
this
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 manner, it is more likely to have positive effects. The main reason for
this
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 is that it is the social media that controls
people
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's minds.
Therefore
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, if we focus on informing and educating individuals about the
issue
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, it is highly probable that environmental
problems
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 will be handled on a global scale. In conclusion, I consider that
while
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 it is true that a high
fuel
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price
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 can somehow have positive effects on eradicating global
problems
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 that are related to the environment, it will not be continuous. The best method to combat the
issue
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 is to develop individuals' understanding.
Submitted by aydinaliyew on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction that sets out your position and a conclusion that restates it. Both the introduction and conclusion are present, but the conclusion may benefit from a stronger restatement of your position.
logical structure
Work on creating a logical flow for your arguments. Use cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through your position but avoid overusing them.
supported main points
Develop and fully support your main points with specific examples or further explanations. Currently, some points could be elaborated on with greater detail.
complete response
Ensure that you directly address all parts of the task prompt, including stating the degree to which you agree or disagree with the stated position. Some parts of your position were unclear.
clear comprehensive ideas
Present your ideas clearly and elaborately. While you do present clear ideas, they could be more comprehensively explained and connected back to the thesis statement.
relevant specific examples
Provide relevant, specific examples to back up each point you make. This lends credibility and depth to your arguments. There is some attempt, but further relevant examples would enhance your response.
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