It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, there are various sources that provide people’s needs as
the
popularity rises every day, which Change the word
their
yielded
to high demand for Wrong verb form
yields
products
. Large stores chain
obviously occupied the market by providing Fix the agreement mistake
store chains
huge
number of Change the article
a huge
the huge
products
, besides
, modern technology made life easier through online shops
. However
, this
affects local brands and degrades their popularity. I argue that local shops
are vital, and we need to support it
to overcome Correct pronoun usage
them
this
problem.
Large markets have a huge chain of products
supplied by large industries, in addition
, they have considerably large storage to store this
merchandise. On the other hand
, on-line
stores became so trendy Correct your spelling
online
by
the development of technology and the wide use of social media. Change preposition
with
This
is the reason behind the lack of productivity in local markets.
On one hand, the problem generated from this
crisis is crucial, where
Correct word choice
because
this
could erase the identity of the communities,
since local brands display the taste of the communities’ culture. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, graduates and undergraduates who are willing to start their own business
will noticeably lose hope Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
to be
achievable.
Change preposition
of being
Therefore
, many measures are vitally important to be established to make a rebound for local shops
. To start with the government , its
essential to support these Replace the word
it's
it is
shops
by reducing taxes and try
to remove restrictions. Wrong verb form
trying
Additionally
, rich people may help by providing donations for start-ups. Furthermore
, social media can be used as a marketing campaign. For example
, citizens could support these markets by using Facebook or Instagram and reviewing local products
.
To conclude
, while
large store chains and on-line
Correct your spelling
online
shops
provide a wide range of products
that achieve satisfaction, but
Change preposition
apply
this
result
in negative sides in the community, so Fix the agreement mistake
results
government
and citizens need to focus Correct article usage
the government
to solve
Change preposition
on solving
this
problem to save their identity.Submitted by amrmohsen12 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure by organizing it into distinct paragraphs: introduction, body paragraphs (each with a single main idea), and conclusion. Make use of a range of cohesive devices but avoid overusing them.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion paragraphs are present but could be more clearly defined. Work on creating a strong thesis statement and a final thought that effectively summarize your main points and stance.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clearer, more specific examples and data where possible. Strive to ensure that each paragraph elaborates on a single aspect of the topic, and use examples to illustrate your points more vividly.
task achievement
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task achievement
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task achievement
Utilize more relevant and specific examples from real life or hypothetical situations to add depth to your essay. Avoid generalizations and strive to provide evidence or anecdotes that directly support your claims.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.