Many people think that television is very important and educatiional for children. They believe that children should watch alot of t.v. at home and at school. To what extent do you agree?

#people #television #children #alot #v #home #school

The world today is very different and that includes how

childern

Correct your spelling

children

are educated. Some people believe that

childern

Correct your spelling

children

have to watch

televisian

Correct your spelling

television

school

and at

home

as well. I partially agree with

this

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

. I agree that the

kids

should watch

Correct your spelling

home

However

, I completely disagree that

childern

Correct your spelling

children

should watch

Correct your spelling

school

This

assey

Correct your spelling

essay

assay

will

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

support for my opinion. On the one hand, Watching

Correct your spelling

home

can help the

childern

Correct your spelling

children

to educate

them selves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

First,

watching

Correct your spelling

home

can teach the

kids

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

attitude. There are many movies

preduced

Correct your spelling

produced

to teach the

childern

Correct your spelling

children

how to listen to their parents and how to respect other people.

Second,

with

Correct your spelling

the TV

people can prepare

thier

Correct your spelling

their children

childern

before they

join

Verb problem

go to

show examples

school

For example

, there are some

Correct your spelling

programs that teach young

kids

the number and the colors as well.

Finally

childern

Correct your spelling

children

can learn from the

many things.

For example

, there are many channels that are specialized in the wildlife and the animals as well.

On the other hand

, I completely disagree that

childern

Correct your spelling

children

should watch

Correct your spelling

school

First,

childern

Correct your spelling

children

have to be focused at

school

. By using

in the

class room

Correct your spelling

classroom

show examples

kids

may lose

thier

Correct your spelling

their

concentration because of the music and the

colors

Change the spelling

colours

show examples

as well.

Second,

watching

Correct your spelling

all the time at

school

may affect their health. Many

kids

nowadays are wearing glasses because

Correct your spelling

the television.

Finally

kids

school

learn skills not just information.

For example

, the teacher teaches the

childern

Correct your spelling

children

how to write and how to hold the pens. If the

cheldern

Correct your spelling

children

watch

Correct your spelling

school

they may realise the letters but they can not write them down. In conclusion,

It is clear that

the television can educate the

kids

home

However

, watching

Correct your spelling

school

may

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

the educational system in a negative way.

Submitted by alfred on Thu Dec 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph are coherently linked to this central topic.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of linking devices to connect ideas smoothly and to transition between sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

task achievement

Address the task fully, covering all parts of the prompt. Make sure that your agreement or disagreement with the statement is clearly explained and substantiated throughout the essay.

task achievement

Develop your ideas fully by providing detailed and specific examples that clearly illustrate your points and strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Pay close attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to prevent minor errors from detracting from the clarity of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

306 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that television is very important and educatiional for children. They believe that children should watch alot of t.v. at home and at school. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays more and more business meetings and business trainings are taking place online. 🔸Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying online is less effective than studying face to face and that more funding should be allocated to improve the effectiveness of online study. To what extent do you agree?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with situation?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue their work. To what extent do you agree?