At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, some nations have a tendency to enormously increase the
number
of young adults but the
number
of older
people
remains low. Despite some obvious
disadvantages
of
this
trend, I would argue that the advantages surpass the
disadvantages
. On the one hand,
this
population
disparity inevitably poses numerous problems. One of the main
disadvantages
is the potentially high unemployment rate.
As a result
,
this
can lead to a rise in social and political instability because of the competition of the huge
number
of graduated students every year.
In addition
, training the young workforce is challenging in not only the cost but the time and effort
also
. These young
people
, don't have experience in hard skills and soft skills, either. A highly skilled expert has to be assigned to guide the newbie with the tight training agendas within at least 3 months.
In other words
, the reduction of a vast
number
of older
people
owning great expertise is unavoidable.
On the other hand
, I believe that the benefits are more significant than the negative impacts.
Firstly
, the huge
number
of
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
population
provides
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incredible economic growth. These
people
are more proactive and more initiative than the older labor workforce
such
as, start-up
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
been seen as a rapidly rising trend in the modern world which means
this
is contributing a large amount of tax base to the country.
For example
, countries like India and China have a significant young
population
, which has contributed to their rapid economic growth in recent years.
Secondly
,
this
situation can reduce the financial burden of providing healthcare
as well as
pension
Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
show examples
and other public services for ageing
people
because
people
are healthier and more physically prepared at a young stage of life.
Therefore
, an incredible load of government work decreases. In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of having a large
population
are more crucial than the
disadvantages
for the reasons mentioned above. Governments should focus on developing policies and programs to maximize the potential economic benefits of a young
population
while
mitigating the potential negative consequences
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coherence cohesion
Make sure that the logical progression of your essay is consistently clear and that all paragraphs relate cohesively to each other. To improve, focus on the clarity of the relations between your ideas. Use cohesive devices appropriately to signal the connections and strengthen the unity of the text.
task achievement
You have addressed the requirements of the task, which included discussing the advantages and disadvantages. To enhance your score, consider providing a more balanced discussion and ensure that the examples given are explicitly relevant and effectively illustrate your point. Aim for comprehensive coverage of the topic.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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