Many people, nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this. Do you think is a positive or negative development.
Nowadays,
smartphones
play a significant role in human lives. People
spend the majority of their free time
through
Change preposition
on
smartphones
in this
modern era. There are numerous reasons which lead to this
phenomenon. In the following paragraph, I will explain the reasons and will give my own viewpoints about this
subject.
To begin
with, technological advancements encourage people
to utilize their smartphones
in their spare time
. Firstly
, these devices have a vital impact on humans’ communications with their relatives and friends who live far away from their homes. In other words
, individuals had to send letters to their loved ones in order to communicate with them. This
method was time
-consuming. However
, these days a wide range of apps are offered by mobile phones
which has facilitated communications. Moreover
, smartphones
are means which are accessible almost every time
and everywhere. So, people
could boost their knowledge and awareness of various subjects via social media and news. For example
, paper news like newspapers and journals are released at less pace but people
are informed about news instantly. As a result
, the more people
use mobile phones
in their free time
, the more benefits they can harvest.
On the other hand
, despite the fact that using smartphone
could have some plus points, there are myriad negative consequences Add an article
a smartphone
due to
employing smartphones
over a long period. First and foremost, overusing these devices may pose a threat to people
’s well-being. Some individuals might be addicted to mobile phones
which have undeniable negative results. For instance
, many people
who have sensitive eyes acknowledge that they suffer from vision problems due to
the light of their smartphone’s screen. In addition
, using smartphone
could lead to some mental difficulties. When they are involved Add an article
a smartphone
in
different times on social media and other facilities of their phone, they do not spend Change preposition
at
time
with people
. Thus
, there are numerous examples of people
who get depression due to
surfing on the internet and spending time
in solitary. Indeed, those could not cultivate a fabulous link with others. Thus
, they would get
some problems mentally.
In conclusion, Verb problem
have
although
there are some reasons that a group of people
have a tendency to spend time
on smartphones
, I personally take the view that using mobile phones
has some unfavourable outcomes. This
action not only has damaging impacts physically, but it also
has detrimental consequences mentally.Submitted by sr.alizadeh9191 on
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task achievement
The essay tends to wander off-topic from the initial point of discussion—the positive or negative development of smartphone usage. It is essential to directly address the question throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
While there is a clear introduction and conclusion, the development of ideas within paragraphs can be improved. Transition words and phrases should be used more effectively to lead the reader through the points being made.
coherence cohesion
When presenting main points, ensure each is supported with specific examples and explanations. Vague references to 'technological advancements' and 'health issues' without elaboration do not sufficiently develop the argument.
task achievement
Examples presented to support points lack specificity and relevance. They should clearly demonstrate the impact of smartphone usage, reflecting the positive or negative aspects as per the essay prompt.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.