IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that marketing and adversiting is useless because people buy their products from some shops which have good quality of services and products. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #products #shops #quality #services
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As far as
people
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 are concerned marketing and advertising are not impressive in the sale of goods. I totally agree with
this
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 view, individuals make their purchases from stores with original
products
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 and special services, because of the gimmicks that are in the advertisements of some of the
companies
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therefore
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, they cannot trust them anymore.
Additionally
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,
people
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 are loyal to well-known
products
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 and prominent
brands
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. With the advancement of technology and the result being an increase in deceptive advertisements from certain
companies
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people
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 find it difficult to trust them and their
products
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.
Due to
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 unfavourable economic conditions, many
people
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 cannot afford to take the risk of buying
products
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 they need based solely on advertisements, as their money may be wasted. They may
instead
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 rely on trusted sources or recommendations to ensure they are making informed purchasing decisions
in addition
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, may ignore marketing and rely on their shopping experiences. With the presence of established and well-known
products
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 and famous
brands
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 that can meet the needs of loyal
customers
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, advertising is not necessary.
However
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, nowadays most
companies
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 consider advertising and marketing as the foundation of their business and believe that it has a massive impact on the sale of their
products
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.
Moreover
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,there are old and loyal
customers
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 who, without focusing on marketing, purchase only high-quality
products
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 and specific
brands
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.
For example
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, the athletic brand Nike has been used by many athletes for years for footwear, bags, and sports clothing.
Customers
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 are satisfied with the quality of its
products
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, and the company
instead
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 of spending on marketing, focuses on improving product quality and special services to retain
customers
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 and increase its customer base with each passing day. In conclusion, some
people
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 believe that advertising and marketing are useless. they buy their goods from shops with high quality. In my view, the
products
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 of some
companies
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 may be manipulative, so
people
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 cannot trust just advertising and most
people
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 tend to be faithful to the
brands
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 of
products
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 and services they buy regardless of any marketing and advertising efforts.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

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task achievement
Ensure to address all parts of the task. Consider whether you might need to discuss both sides of the argument more comprehensively to present a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally logically structured, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow.
task achievement
Expanding on your main points with more specific examples can provide additional strength to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and is well-linked to the thesis statement.
task achievement
Your argument is clearly presented, and your stance is easy to understand, making your essay engaging to read. Well done!
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your essay nicely.
task achievement
Your example of Nike illustrates your point effectively and demonstrates your ability to support your ideas with relevant evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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