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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Organizing a large family celebrations, such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be the problems associated with organizing a large family event and what solutions can you suggest?

#celebrations #event
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These days it could be hard to organize a family ceremony like a wedding, but if there is a concrete plan, there will not be any worries.
This
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 essay will indicate some problems associated with
this
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 event and propose some solutions. One of the major problems which
people
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 can face at weddings is dealing with a large number of
people
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, which sometimes is more than a thousand.
This
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 means that your
guests
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 not only are a lot, but
also
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 are very different in terms of personalities, culture, and backgrounds.
For example
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, in my country, some
people
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 value traditions and religions, which affect their wedding,
while
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 some do not care about them.
Therefore
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,
this
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 should be managed in family events. To tackle
this
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 issue, inviters could reduce the number of their
guests
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 and select them based on their types of wedding.
This
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 means that they should invite
people
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 who have similar attitudes and beliefs, which helps them have homogenous
guests
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. If you are not able to decrease the number of your
guests
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, you can recruit some workers to help you manage them. Another issue is budget. Nowadays, weddings are becoming more and more luxurious and
people
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 use them to show off their wealth, so it has become a type of competition.
This
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 can be shown by ten-story cakes and four dishes, which are unnecessary. The way forward to
this
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 problem is to make
people
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 aware that a wedding is not everything and having a luxurious ceremony does not make our future life better. In conclusion,
although
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 having family events could cause some problems, they will be solved if
people
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 change their minds and have a sound plan. I believe if
this
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 trend continues,
people
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 will lose many other values in their lives.
Submitted by Shahdadi.m76 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down the essay into clearer and more distinct paragraphs for each main idea. This will enhance readability.
task achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the task are fully addressed, possibly including more examples or elaboration on the solutions provided.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which sums up the key points effectively.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, like the one about traditions and religion in weddings, are well integrated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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