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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In their advertising, bussiness nowdays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. why is this? do you think it is positive or negative development?

#bussiness #nowdays #emphasis #products #development
Advertising is the key for every
company
 to succeed in their product market. It is often said that these days businesses are continuously promoting their brand-new items.
This
 essay will demonstrate why I believe some tendencies on the internet will take part in
this
 significant change which create a positive revolution in the industry itself. People as the consumers will be involved the most in the making of a product. By means, companies will look closely to analyse consumers' interests which could depend on the following tendency that usually can be found on social media. As it happens, numerous brands chose social media as their main source to promote and increase their brands' acknowledgement to the public.
For instance
, the polka dot pattern on clothes used to be popular a few years ago, compared to these days when people prefer to put black and white motives on their bodies. In
this
 case, a polka dots clothing brand will not get a high income like they used to before,
instead
 they normally establish a new
company
 name and sell current trends.
This
 phenomenon will bring more beneficial impacts not only for the
company
 itself but
also
 for the developmental change in the business industry. Because of these regularly changing trends, the community who work behind a product will grow their creativity in the form of creating a new outcome that could fit everyone's interests. The association
also
 will learn how to promote their brands based on today's society preferably choices in order to enhance the
company
's name.
For example
, nowadays society relies on TikTok to seek for their entertainment, in that case, many companies are frequently switching their advertisement method from old ways to TikTok. In conclusion, the presence of direction which happens among people nowadays plays a big part in
this
 new change in the business industry, which positively brings an enormous impact on the growth of every
company
 in the way they create products.
Submitted by talithanakhwah19 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay does not clearly present a logical structure, and the ideas are somewhat disjointed. It is essential to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point with clear supporting examples and evidence. The introduction should clearly outline the points that will be addressed, and the conclusion should summarize the main arguments presented in the essay. Transitions between paragraphs need to be smooth and coherent to guide the reader through the narrative.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic, the response lacks depth in fully exploring the reasons why businesses emphasize 'newness' in advertisements and the implications of this trend. It is important to focus more closely on the prompt and cover all parts of the question. The essay should provide a balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects of the development, including clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant and specific examples. Opinions should be presented clearly and backed by strong arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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