IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless.The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers.Do you think advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantagous?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers #disadvantagous
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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light of the proliferation of
technology
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, there
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be no more
automonous
Correct your spelling
autonomous
vehicles
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 in the future.
While
Linking Words
 there are some benefits associated with the advent of
driverless
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cars
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,I believe the main drawbacks are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential advantage of
driverless
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vehicles
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 may be bringing the opportunity of driving for specific groups of
people
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 who are unable to drive
due to
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 their physical status or law.
For instance
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, many elderly
people
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 find it difficult to drive and travel.
As a result
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,
this
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 situation may lead to mental problems
such
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 as depression.
Furthermore
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,the state-of-the-art means of transport will make it easy for disabled
people
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 or children who are under 18 to enjoy travelling and will bring them a sense of satisfaction.Another perceived benefit is that
people
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 can allocate time for other activities rather than driving their
cars
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.
For example
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, relying on modern
technology
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 they can just sit and enjoy the view
as well as
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 surfing on the Internet or even
sleeping
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sleep
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.
On the other hand
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, a primary disadvantage of auto-driving
cars
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 is
significant
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a significant
the significant
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 increase
of
Change preposition
in
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unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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 rate in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. From an economic perspective,
transportation's
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transportation
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 companies prefer to choose
driverless
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vehicles
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 in order to gain more profits.
Consequently
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, a vast number of society
mambers
Correct your spelling
members
 whose source of revenue is associated with self-driving
vehicles
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 are more likely to lose their jobs.
Therefore
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, they cannot provide their families with their basic needs. A
further
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 negative is that most
people
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 find it complicated to use
such
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 cutting-edge
technology
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.Since a majority of society members are unfamiliar with modern software, governments should raise public awareness about
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of the new
technology
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. If
people
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 are
oblivoius
Correct your spelling
obligated
 to use the related software appropriately,adverse
consequances
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consequences
 would
be happened
Wrong verb form
happen
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such
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 as unexpected accidents
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 in rush hours. On balance, it is true that
driverless
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cars
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 would seem advantageous under certain circumstances.
However
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, in my view, its negative effects in terms of unemployment and its adverse consequences override the advantages.
Submitted by shabnam.sohanian on

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coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a coherent structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the logical flow between ideas can be improved with better transition phrases and clearer progression of thoughts. The introduction could be more effectively articulated to clearly outline the following arguments.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph contains a central idea which generally supports the main argument, but at times, these main points could be further developed with more specific examples and analysis. This would strengthen the overall argument and provide a more persuasive essay.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the task, providing arguments for both advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles. The conclusion is present and reflects the content, although it could be stronger in making a definitive stance that directly responds to the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are clear, but the writer should aim for more comprehensive exploration and include more detailed examples to substantiate the claims.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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