In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays the
age
of death has increased in many countries, and Use synonyms
this
situation has made the population older and caused some arguments for, and against Linking Words
this
ageing society. Some argue that Linking Words
this
is a beneficial matter for the community, Linking Words
while
others believe that Linking Words
this
may cause some difficulties for the government. Linking Words
This
essay will analyze both views Linking Words
as well as
my own reasons for the outweigh of negative aspects.
Linking Words
To begin
with, some individuals consider Linking Words
this
situation an opportunity to use the elderly people’s experiences more than before. To clarify Linking Words
this
, a professor in a university, who taught and educated so many students, can continue teaching more of these science pursuers. Linking Words
Although
they can use the books written by them, face-to-face experience is not comparable to just reading words and following instructions.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, others assume that the increase in the Linking Words
age
average could lead to two main issues for the government. Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
this
may cause a rise in population, Linking Words
thus
the facilities and infrastructures will be limited for citizens. Linking Words
Secondly
, by raising the Linking Words
age
average, an increase in the retirement Use synonyms
age
would be required, Use synonyms
consequently
, the job situations will be limited, and youngsters might have difficulties finding a career. Linking Words
In addition
, I believe that the benefits are not worth all the trouble that Linking Words
this
matter causes.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
there are some convincing reasons which could make the rise of the population of older people advantageous, Linking Words
this
causes some significant problems for both the government and society which makes Linking Words
this
situation more disadvantageous.Linking Words
Submitted by Farzaneh Ka on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear thesis statement that outlines the structure of your essay, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points without introducing new ideas. Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened.
logical structure
While your essay features a logical structure, you could improve the flow and clarity by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitioning phrases to lead the reader more smoothly from one point to another.
supported main points
While you provide general supporting points for the arguments you present, strive to include more detailed and relevant examples. These examples should be specific and serve to concretely illustrate your points, rather than simply assert a general position.
complete response
It's important to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Ensure that you provide a balanced consideration of both sides of the argument and include a clear personal stance, adequately justified throughout your essay. Your response needs to answer directly the 'to what extent' component.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay contains appropriate ideas in response to the prompt; however, try to elaborate further on these ideas to fully develop your arguments. Clearer and more comprehensive exploration of the topic will enhance the depth of your essay.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic. While you mention a university professor as an example, providing additional, varied examples related to other aspects of society affected by an ageing population would strengthen your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.