Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some employees have to spend a lot of time travelling to
work
. Therefore
, some individuals harbour a belief that parks
and gardens
close to city
centres should be replaced by housing so as to reduce the transport time to work
, whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint. From my perspective,I would like to stand with the sceptics as the main reason that people choose to live in the suburbs is because of the high rental fees and high prices of apartments in city
centres.
Initially
, one of the main arguments in favour of removing parks
and gardens
in the hearts of cities is because they are generally spacious which can be a waste of space. If the spaces are used to build new houses, it can efficiently increase the numbers of housing and employees will have more options near their workplaces. As they are able to live as close as they can to their companies, the travelling time to work
will be shorter than the present situation.Thus
, removing gardens
and parks
is a solution from the aspect of urban space arrangements.
At the other end of the spectrum, the root reason for living preferences is usually prices and green spaces in the heart of a city
are beneficial to a balanced lifestyle. First of all, rental fees or costs of apartments in city
centres are considerably superior to those in the suburbs.Compared to the income levels of most citizens, the high expenditure can be a struggle in daily life.Thus
, they have no choice but to live in farther regions from their workplaces.According to
the aforementioned, the true issue that the public should pay attention to is the high prices of accommodation. Besides
,green spaces in the city
’s hearts provide citizens opportunities to enjoy tranquillity and retreat from the hustle and bustle of a busy life. Hence
, removing gardens
and parks
is not a practical method to solve the problem of the long distance between home and work
.
To sum up
, omitting areas of parks
and gardens
in central regions of cities cannot resolve the problem from its root. Tackling with high costs of accommodation is rather essential.Moreover
, the advantages that parks
and gardens
bring to people cannot be ignored.Submitted by s99104032 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by examples or explanations to support that idea.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Always give specific examples to support your points, which can help make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Keep working on providing a balanced view when discussing both sides of the argument, ensuring that your personal opinion is clear and well supported by the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a reasoned conclusion.
task achievement
You made a clear stance which is consistent throughout the essay, showing good task achievement.
general language use
You effectively used a variety of sentence structures and showed the ability to express complex ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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