IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write about the following topic: In order to solve traffic problems, Vietnamese government should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. You should write at least 250 words.

#topic #traffic #vietnamese #government #tax #car #owners #money #transportation
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It is quite common these days for the Vietnamese government should tax private
car
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owners
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 heavily and use the
money
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 to improve public
transportation
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 to solve
traffic
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 problems.
This
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 essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 trend. On the one hand, there are several reasons why taxing private
car
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owners
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 heavily
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 beneficial. A common reason is that if more and more individuals own cars in Vietnam, it will become a huge problem in road
traffic
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 because our country’s
roads
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 are very small and cannot accommodate too many large vehicles. Explanations, the
roads
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 in Ho Chi Minh City are often jammed with
traffic
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, partly
due to
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 the population, the rest is
due to
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 too much large vehicle
traffic
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, so the city has banned large trucks from circulating from 5am to 10pm every day. Another cause is the circulation of many large vehicles will cause damage to the
roads
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.
For example
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, recently, many city
roads
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 had to be redone
due to
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 severe damage, with many deep holes that made
traffic
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 impossible.
On the other hand
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, there are a number of disadvantages of taxing private
car
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owners
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 heavily and using the
money
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 to improve public
transportation
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 that people should take into consideration. One obvious drawback is that high taxes will lead to buying a
car
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 costing a lot of
money
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 and work time. Explanations an individual who wants to own it will have to work harder and it can be said that with the average salary in Vietnam, they will work for a long time to get it. You can own your desired
car
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. Another negative effect is that high taxes to improve public
transportation
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 will negatively impact labour capacity and demand.
For example
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, they feel that buying a
car
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 is unnecessary because there are public services, leading to a decrease in labour productivity and the country’s
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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average income will decrease. In conclusion, the Vietnamese government should tax private
car
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owners
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 heavily and use the
money
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 to improve public
transportation
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 could bring about certain benefits, but its negative consequences should not be overlooked.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and summarize the main points effectively. The conclusion in this essay needs to be more distinct and should more clearly outline the writer's position.
logical structure
Work on creating smooth and logical transitions between paragraphs and within the essay as a whole. The paragraphs should flow naturally from one to the next, with clear topic sentences introducing the subject of each.
supported main points
Support your main points with extended and developed arguments. It is not enough to simply list points; they must be elaborated on with comprehensive detail and explanation.
complete response
Fully respond to all parts of the task, ensuring that both advantages and disadvantages are clearly discussed, and your own opinion is evident. The response in some places failed to do this, and the writer's opinion was not clear.
clear comprehensive ideas
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points, which you did effectively. Continue to incorporate real-life situations or hypothetical scenarios to strengthen your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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