IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that illegal internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that the
music
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 is being harmed by illegitimate
downloads
Use synonyms
 on the internet,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that it barely has any negative
impact
Use synonyms
 on performers.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that torrenting of
music
Use synonyms
 has almost no
impact
Use synonyms
 on either musicians or the
industry
Use synonyms
 in general. It might be stated by someone that illegal web
music
Use synonyms
downloads
Use synonyms
 can have a negative
impact
Use synonyms
 on the
music
Use synonyms
 niche. Illegitimate use of songs is considered to be a copyright violation,
however
Linking Words
, it has almost no
impact
Use synonyms
 on either the
music
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 or musicians themselves,
due to
Linking Words
 many other sources of
income
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is disagreed that musicians’
income
Use synonyms
 may be affected by it in any significant way. Prime examples of artists’ main
income
Use synonyms
 sources include but are not limited to live performances, brand partnerships and others.
However
Linking Words
, many agree that internet
downloads
Use synonyms
 do not really affect the
music
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 in general. Those
downloads
Use synonyms
 may in fact affect particular artists, but only in a very insignificant way,
therefore
Linking Words
 it has almost no
impact
Use synonyms
 on their art. A wide spectrum of possibilities provides them with a great opportunity to make money.
Such
Linking Words
income
Use synonyms
 sources as YouTube monetization, streaming, songwriting and many others allow one to feel confident moneywise without being afraid of possible torrent
downloads
Use synonyms
 on the web.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there is no doubt that there might be a chance that a particular song can be torrented on the internet, but generally speaking, it has no significant
impact
Use synonyms
 on either a specific artist or the
industry
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both views on the topic and gives a clear opinion. However, using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures could enhance task response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, you might want to make smoother transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
You have clearly presented both views on the topic and provided a well-reasoned opinion, indicating a strong complete response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized logically with a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively evaluating the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • illegal downloads
  • financial losses
  • record labels
  • decrease in sales
  • perception
  • undermine
  • upcoming artists
  • pirated
  • exposure
  • concert attendance
  • merchandise sales
  • alternative revenue streams
  • live performances
  • sponsorships
  • streaming platforms
  • business models
  • loyal fan base
  • adapt
  • mitigate
  • thrive
What to do next:
Look at other essays: