Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Elites are always concerned about subjects studied at school. These days,
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
students
should study international news
at secondary schools
or not has became
a matter of debate. I reckon Change the form of the verb
become
schools
should spend their limited resources on more practical subjects.
On one hand, the main purpose of schools
is to train work force
for the industry. Correct your spelling
workforce
As a result
, the school's authorities have to make sure that students
gain usefull
skills to get a job. Correct your spelling
useful
For example
, there is a high demand for computer skills in the industry, and in this
regard, it suffers from a lack of work force
. Correct your spelling
workforce
Therefore
, if the education system allocates its resources to improve this
skill at secondary schools
, it would contribute to the growth of industry
in the future.
Add an article
the industry
On the other hand
, teenagers are not mature enough to understand the international news
. For instance
, the international news
is mainly about the macro-economy, politics, cutting-edge technology, and wars. As a consequence
, students
, at this
age, are highly unlikely to understant
the concepts behind the Correct your spelling
understand
news
. So it will waste all the time and efforts
. Fix the agreement mistake
effort
Moreover
, it could be also
harmful to students
. Imagine a child following international news
about wars, global warming, or shortage of water. These news
are stressful,
and may bring about nightmares to him.
In conclusion, I am strongly against studying international Remove the comma
apply
news
at
secondary Change preposition
in
schools
. Because not
only education system Correct word choice
Not
has
more important tasks to achieve but Correct subject-verb agreement
have
also
teenagers fail to manage to handle both the concepts and consequences of the
international Correct article usage
apply
news
. Therefore
, it would be a total waste of limited resources at schools
.Submitted by AUser on
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coherence cohesion
It is important to ensure that your essay has a clear progression of ideas, with paragraphs logically ordered and each main point followed by an appropriate example or explanation. Aim for more varied sentence structures and the correct use of linking words to help with the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task, but additional development of the arguments is necessary. Clearly state your position and provide a more balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument. Make sure each paragraph contributes to your overall position. Use more specific examples and detailed explanations to substantiate your claims.