IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Time: 40 minutes Write at least 250 words In many countries, shops open for longer hours daily every week. What is the negative or positive effects of this on the shoppers and local community. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#time #minutes #countries #shops #hours #week #effects #shoppers #community
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since
time
 immemorial, many
shoppers
 have always enjoyed the luxury of having enough
time
 during their shopping experiences. In view of
this
, there is an ongoing discussion about
shops
 being opened for longer
hours
as well as
 the positive and negative effects it has on
shoppers
 and the local community. My essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 take an exhaustive look at the stated points in the paragraphs below
while
 I conclude with my own opinion.
To begin
 with, the luxury of
time
 would be given to
shoppers
 so as to enjoy their shopping experience because
shops
 open for longer
hours
. Many countries are now enlightened to
this
 which helps with their economic growth and customers are always satisfied as they have enough
time
 to compare and contrast during their purchases.
For instance
, Dubai, UAE a tourist country always have its malls open during the day and at night because most tourists enjoy shopping at any
time
 of the day and
this
 has skyrocketed their sales
as well as
 their economy in recent times. Undoubtedly,
shoppers
 would enjoy the benefits of
shops
 being open for longer
hours
.
On the other hand
, the local community would suffer infringement on privacy
as well as
 unusual traffic in their environment because
shops
 are open for longer
hours
. In some local communities that are residential, residents are deprived of resting
hours
due to
 the noise from these and their roads are always congested with traffic.
For example
, I stayed in Downtown Dubai for a year and I always experienced traffic during the day and at night because of the
shops
 in the mall. Invariably, local communities are facing several inconveniences because of
shops
 opening longer
hours
. In a nutshell, there are positive effects for
shoppers
 because they enjoy the luxury of
time
while
 shopping and the local communities
also
 suffer from their experiences.
However
, the onus lies on the government of the country to set rules and regulations in order to create a state of equilibrium for all parties.
Submitted by hebibli.eli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the essay presents a balanced argument by addressing both the positive and negative aspects of the topic as required by the question. Include a comparative analysis to demonstrate the impact of extended shop hours on both shoppers and the local community.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas and paragraphs, ensuring a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Introduce paragraphs with topic sentences and conclude them with final thoughts that relate back to the overall thesis of the essay.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support main points, ensuring they are directly relevant to the question posed. Use examples that illustrate the effects on both shoppers and local communities, drawing from a range of hypothetical scenarios or real experiences to strengthen the argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: