It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Although
taking risks
in individuals' jobs and lives is thought by some to be essential, other people
consider that it can be harmful. In my opinion, I think that risks
can bring about more advantages for people
compared to any drawbacks they might bring.
Despite the disadvantages below, I believe that the benefits gained by taking risks
are extremely useful and constructive in our personal or professional lives. Firstly
, it is crucial to develop our life's quality. What this
means is that if people
take risks
in order to enhance their career and daily life positions, they will improve their social and career status. As a result
, their wealth and sense of fulfilment improved. Secondly
, experiencing plenty of events and facing many issues makes people
stronger and sharpens their minds. This
means it is necessary to get out of the secure zone which limits individuals' abilities and critical thinking.
Admittedly, there are some affairs involved when someone takes risks
. one problem is that taking risks
may cause financial damage. This
situation, however
, is rare, only happening when somebody makes a decision about a vital matter without enough information and knowledge. Another negative aspect is that making risky decisions might lead to being nervous and worried about the results. This
kind of mental affairs, consequently
, could affect people
's activities and decrease their sense of confidence.
In conclusion, weighing up both sides of the argument, I would say that gaining suitable experiences and improvements in many aspects of life by taking risks
outweighs any of the minor bad points.Submitted by atefeh.rashidi2022 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequence throughout your essay. Some points need clearer connections and more effective paragraph transitions to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Always ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and summarise your main points effectively. You have done this fairly well, but there is room for improvement in sharpening the thesis and final statement.
coherence cohesion
Ground your main points with more varied support. This means providing specific examples, data, or hypothetical situations that clearly illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.
task achievement
Cover all parts of the task with a complete response. You have addressed the main points but could develop further the impact of the disadvantages.
task achievement
Express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Work on developing each point with deeper explanation and analysis to showcase a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to substantiate your argument. This would significantly strengthen the task achievement score by grounding your claims in concrete evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.