Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons and include examples.
There is no denying the fact that
smartphones
are used widely by some kids
, which makes them busy for hours every day. This
essay will discuss the reasons behind this
phenomenon, and I consider that children
will gain more pros if they use
smartphones
in a proper way under the direction of their parents, or teachers.
To begin
with, there are many causes that encourages
teenagers to like using Change the verb form
encourage
smartphones
. Firstly
, these phones
become more attractive compared to old models of phones
, this
occurs as a result
of advanced technology, in our era. In other words
, these phones
enable kids
to practice various kinds of activities, which enhances them to continue using smartphones
. In addition
, these phones
are similar to televisions and computers, therefore
; most children
are fond of them. For example
, kids
can use
them to watch fascinating videos, play games, access their emails, and contact their friends easily by using social media platforms on these phones
.
In terms of that, this
trend is considered a positive or a negative event. It is also
possible to say that some drawbacks will happen if kids
use
them inappropriately. For instance
, without control, they may become addicted to these phones
, hence
; most of their valuable time will be lost. On the other hand
, more positive effects will be gained when kids
know how to use
them properly. To illustrate, smartphones
make the world for them as one village, so; they can recognize the cultures of other nations easily, which may be the key to development. Also
, smartphones
play a crucial role in online education, as; they can help children
to finish online learning programs.
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to this
question. On balance, however
; It is also
true that numerous reasons push kids
to spend hours using smartphones
, particularly smartphones
provide them with everything they like. Also
, I believe that,
many positive consequences will happen when Remove the comma
apply
children
use
them reasonably.Submitted by sm710129 on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay does include an introduction and conclusion, they lack clarity and a strong thesis statement. Furthermore, the body paragraphs do not follow a clear logical sequence which sometimes makes it hard to follow your arguments. To enhance cohesion, consider mapping out your essay before writing to clearly establish your introduction, supporting paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and a conclusion that restates your main points and provides a definitive stance on the topic. Use appropriate transition words to link your ideas together and make sure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before.
task achievement
Your response to the task does include answers to the questions posed, but they need to be more developed. Expand on your main points with specific examples and clear elaboration. Rather than making general statements about the impact of smartphones, illustrate these impacts with concrete examples or relevant data that clearly show the benefits and drawbacks. Ensure that your position on whether the development is positive or negative is clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. More direct references to the questions asked and a more thorough exploration of the topic will help in fulfilling the task completely.