More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is certainly true that the number of
people
who are struggling
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
obesity has been
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
day by day in the world. Some
people
say that
doubleing
Correct your spelling
doubling
the price of
such
carbohydrated
Correct your spelling
carbohydrate
carbohydrates
food
can be
solution
Add an article
the solution
a solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
. in my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do believe that it is
undeniable
Change the word
undeniably
show examples
true and some measures should be taken to address
this
isuue
Correct your spelling
issue
. On the one hand, many
people
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
from obesity around the world
due to
various reasons
such
as
Genetical
Correct word choice
Genetic
show examples
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
show examples
, side effects of taking medication for other chronic
deciese
Correct your spelling
diseases
, and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
craving for junk
foods
. Apart from that, many
people
are struggled
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
fast
food
because it is cheaper to have compared to
high nutrition
Add a hyphen
high-nutrition
show examples
foods
, so they will eventually become addicted to
this
kind of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
. After some
point
Add a comma
point,
show examples
it will become hard for
thyem
Correct your spelling
them
to stop eating
such
foods
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
slowly become harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
our health. There are many ways
this
issue can be tackled.
Firstly
, introducing awareness
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
about the adverse effects of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
can be a better solution for
thius
Correct your spelling
this
problem
.
In addition
,doubling the price of
high carbonated
Add a hyphen
high-carbonated
show examples
food
will be a possible measure in order to reduce
this
problem
in our society. if the
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
are
risied
Correct your spelling
rising
raised
listed
, it is difficult for
people
to buy junk
foods
, so the popularity of
such
foods
will be eliminated.
Moreover
, governments can eradicate some highly harmful
foods
from
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
. It is undeniable
true
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that more
people
are suffering from obesity these days. it is important to take possible measures to address
this
problem
and
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
replace
this harmful
Change the determiner
this harmful food
these harmful foods
show examples
foods
with
nutrition
Replace the word
nutritious
show examples
food
.
Submitted by febinpoulose182 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Please ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure. The introduction should clearly state your position, and each paragraph should contain one main idea supported by relevant explanation or examples. Work on making your main points clearer and more distinct in separate paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Be certain to fully address the question by providing a direct answer to the prompt. Expand and support your ideas with specific examples or explanations. Ensure your essay remains consistently focused on the topic, and that each paragraph contributes to your overall argument or explanation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!