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Band 6.5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #lives
There is no denying the fact that many folks want
lives
 living near where they were born.
This
 essay will discuss several reasons for them and the many advantages and disadvantages they will face.
To begin
 with, there are several reasons for
lives
 living in a hometown.
Firstly
, someone prefers to live among family bonding.
In other words
, they like the atmosphere, and some habits have made them make
this
 decision.
In addition
, people have some circumstances to live with their family as a close community, others they feel belong to the place’s born.
For example
, in a lot of villages if you look around, you will note these places as a family, perhaps sometimes have problems, because they do not have private
lives
. In terms of, there are few advantages when they live at hometown, we can say they might establish their
lives
 with their parents, neighbours and relatives they had helped them to make a great relationship. It is
also
 possible to say that the opportunities of life are decreased.
Moreover
, some disadvantages It's have done for them as some families are forced their offspring to live with them,
as well as
, others have exhausted feeling from trying a new experience or they don't have any opportunities to change their place or explore anything to expand their knowledge or grow up their business. In conclusion, there are many reasons to help them live a great life, and other side it will be harmful for them. it is
also
 true that living close hometown has several disadvantages and advantages.
Submitted by M on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a coherent structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. It is important to have a clear introduction that presents the topic and a conclusion that summarises the main points. Each paragraph should contain one main idea supported by examples or explanations. The use of cohesive devices to link ideas is also limited.
task achievement
The essay somewhat addresses the topic, but the ideas are not fully developed, and the argument is not always convincing. Candidates need to ensure they address all parts of the task and provide clear and comprehensively developed ideas. The use of specific and relevant examples to support the points being made is important for a higher score in task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
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