Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?
There is no doubt these days that the percentage of smokers has increased over the years,
although
the world
Correct your spelling
World Health Organization
health
organization has tried to overcome this
dilemma. The question is, will this
phenomenon continue to grow even though people
are aware of it? In this
paper, I going to discuss how cigarettes can affect our health
and what are the tackles .
In terms of problems, smoking can lead to a lot of health
issues for smokers and non-smokers people
. The main reason provided to support this
claim, one cigar has been burnt rich in carbon dioxide that causes multiple diseases with constant usage. For example
, diseases related to the immune system, and different kinds of cancers that will have progressed by the end, and finally
death. Furthermore
, sitting in the same place where there is a smoker, might exhibit health
problems, although
you are not a smoker.
moreover
, on the same page , there are some potential solutions to promote people
's physical condition. Firstly
, raise the consciousness of society about the consequences of being a smoke r
. Correct your spelling
smoker
In other words
, the government should take strict action by making suitable places to encourage them to stop this
habit. Secondly
, increase the price of tobacco around the world and aware them to don't sell
it to a person who Wrong verb form
selling
is
under twenty yearsCorrect subject-verb agreement
are
.
In Correct word choice
old.
the
nutshell, smoking is an international issue cause an impact on Correct article usage
a
people
's health
. All the countries have to take a serious move to solve this
problem and prevent the deterioration of the futureSubmitted by dentdent4 on
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task achievement
In terms of task achievement, the essay generally addresses the topic, but the response could be more fully developed to meet the task requirements. It should provide a more detailed exploration of why the issue of smoking is of concern and expand on the suggested solutions with clearer examples or evidence. Furthermore, the response must be more direct in addressing the exact reasons we should be concerned, as mentioned in the question prompt.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of the essay suffer due to a lack of clear logical progression and appropriate use of cohesive devices. The writer should focus on structuring the essay with clear paragraphs, each introducing a distinct idea, and using cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' correctly. Additionally, the conclusion should be a summary of the main points made within the essay, reflecting on the introduction and the topic sentences of the body paragraphs. There is also a need for correct punctuation and paragraph division to enhance readability.