IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some educationist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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There is no doubt these days that international exchange sessions are tremendously beneficial for students the question is, does going to visit a foreign country to study have advantages outweigh the negative ones? In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my own opinion. On the one hand, it is crystal clear that studying a broad has an immense interest all around the globe. The main reason provided to support
this
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 claim is that most schools have been planning to send their students to foreign countries;
as a result
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, these expatriates will gain invaluable experience that could help them in their professional and personal careers. To exemplify, if he or she travels overseas, he or she will come back with a lot of knowledge that could enhance the development of the nation's land.
Furthermore
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, students, who enrolled in
this
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 program have the opportunity to learn the culture of the pupils who live there.
For example
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, learning a new language, and traditional clothes and cuisine.
On the other hand
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, there are undoubtedly drawbacks to
this
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 idea.
Firstly
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, immigration to a new country costs you a lot of money
thus
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, countless families are unable to afford the price.
Secondly
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, indeed, moving away from your family is one of the most difficult decisions in life. Despite feeling lonely and homesick, you have a new adventure that will make you more responsible for the past and so on. In a nutshell, I acknowledge that;
although
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 immigration for study purposes is a big decision, the returns are huge either for the individual itself or the society.

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout the response, but the premises could be more fully extended and the main points require further development. The examples offered are somewhat general and could be developed with more specific details that directly relate to the thesis.
coherence cohesion
The organization of the essay shows coherence overall, with an identifiable introduction and conclusion; however, transitions between ideas could be smoother. Paragraphing is utilized, but improvements can be made in the logical sequencing of information for better clarity and flow. Using a wider range of cohesive devices could enhance the connection between ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • educationists
  • international exchange visit
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • school
  • cultural exchange
  • exposure
  • language skills
  • worldview
  • global awareness
  • empathy
  • tolerance
  • academic growth
  • career opportunities
  • homesickness
  • adjustment issues
  • safety concerns
  • financial burden
  • impact
  • academic performance
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