Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
The once sharp distinctions between countries around the world are gradually evaporating
,
since Remove the comma
apply
the
global economic development makes it possible to get Correct article usage
apply
commodities
from every corner on
the earth. Change preposition
of
Whereas
the damaging impacts appear simultaneously despite the advantages emerging in the affinity. I would argue that the drawbacks of this
are even more overwhelming.
To begin
with, the convergence of commodities
in different places will be detrimental to cultural diversity. Since traditional commodities
contain unique local cultural characteristics, their disappearance is not conducive to cultural inheritance. People would,
say, Remove the comma
apply
be
increasingly hard to purchase their traditional costumes when the clothing market in their countries Correct subject-verb agreement
is
are
closely getting in touch with Correct subject-verb agreement
is
the
international fashion. If those global bland products one day completely oust the traditional objects of a nation, it would be a loss of richness and diversity in the world, Correct article usage
apply
as well as
the disappearance of the manifestations of a place’s character.
Furthermore
, buying same
goods has a negative impact on local employment. On one hand, traditional Correct article usage
the same
commodities
are fading away, which will leave many producers who make a living from them losing their jobs. On the other hand
, tourists will be disappointed when they find that the merchandise lack
characteristics or even Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
are
no different from those in their hometown. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Therefore
, such
word of mouth will have a bad influence on the local tourism industry and thus
adversely affect the employment of relevant personnel.
In conclusion, at the same time when we see the merits of an economy where goods can flow freely, the weaknesses should also
be witnessed and treated seriously.Submitted by cathyielts22 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
specific examples for task achievement
Try to integrate more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. This will enhance your task achievement score by making your points more explicit and grounded.
coherence & cohesion improvement
Enhance the connectivity of your ideas with transitional phrases that show comparison, contrast, cause, and effect more clearly. This will improve the flow of your essay and your coherence and cohesion score.
introduction & conclusion
You have clearly presented your thesis in the introduction and echoed it in the conclusion, maintaining a consistent perspective throughout the essay.
logical structure
Your essay benefits from a structured logical flow, with each paragraph building upon the last to support your overall argument.
sentence structure & vocabulary
You've used a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to effectively communicate your ideas, contributing to the essay's coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!