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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the annual pay (thousands of US dollars) for doctors and other workers in seven countries in 2004

The chart below shows the annual pay (thousands of US dollars) for doctors and other workers in seven countries in 2004
The bar chart illustrates the amount of money paid
for
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to
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doctors
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 and other employees per
year
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 in seven nations in the
year
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of
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apply
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2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
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doctors
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doctors'
doctor's
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 and other
workers
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’ annual
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 in the US
was
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were
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 much higher than the
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 of other nix countries.
Moreover
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, there was a common tendency that the pay for
doctors
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 was significantly higher than that of other
workers
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 in all mentioned nations.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there were
120,000USD
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120,000 USD
 to pay for American
doctors
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, which was three times higher than that of other
workers
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 in the US.
The
Correct article usage
A
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 similar tendency could be seen in the annual
salary
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paying
Wrong verb form
paid
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 for
doctors
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 and other
workers
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 in France, around
70,000USD
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70,000 USD
 compared to roughly
30,000USD
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30,000 USD
.
Although
Linking Words
 the pay per
year
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 for
doctors
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 in Switzerland was the same as that in France, the amount of money paid
for
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to
show examples
 other
workers
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 was much bigger,
40,000USD
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40,000 USD
. Looking at the rest, it is true that the
salary
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 per
year
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 in three countries, including Italy,
Czech
Correct article usage
the Czech
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 Republic and Germany fluctuated at the level of around 20,000USD.
In addition
Linking Words
, these countries
paid
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pay
show examples
 for
doctors
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also
Linking Words
 reached a similar rate of about
60,000USD
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60,000 USD
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the only country with the lowest
salary
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 for
doctors
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 was Finland, which was under
60,000USD
Correct your spelling
60,000 USD
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words doctors, year, salary, workers, usd with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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