IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #ebooks #technology #newspaper #magazines
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It is argued that
ebooks
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 and new technology will completely replace traditional magazines. I totally agree with
this
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 statement. The new generation tends to surf the internet, and they prefer to use
Ebooks
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instead
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 of
newspapers
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 or traditional
books
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 because, on the internet, you can find PDFs for reading without paying for them, which means you can find them for free so the main point is that you do not have to pay for it. What is more, as a writer, you do not have to pay for your
books
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 to be released, and it
also
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 helps our environment because after you are done with that particular book you have read
then
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, you can remove it from your device, and there is no need for recycling
books
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, and it causes saving money for the government. The other main point is that
books
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 and articles are easy to access. In the past people used to look for specific
books
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 in the bookshop and sometimes it took time to find the book you needed.
Furthermore
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,
Ebooks
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 are more accessible than
newspapers
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 and
books
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; with one click, you can find the book you are looking for, and it saves you time and money.
However
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, traditional
books
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 and magazines have a nostalgic feeling when you hold them in your hands.
For instance
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, when you buy
newspapers
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 in the morning and relax in your backyard with fresh coffee, the smell of the newspaper gives you a special feeling, but you should pay for it.
To sum up
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, I completely agree that traditional
newspapers
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 and magazines have already been replaced by modern technology,
ebooks
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, etc. I think it is good for saving time and money
while
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 you try to be up-to-date with social media and news channels.edited 12:32
Submitted by MinaDadashi1376 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the response. Even though you stated agreement, the essay lacks depth in exploring the extent of this agreement.
task achievement
Expand on the main ideas and provide more specific examples and explanations to support your opinion and make the essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by organizing ideas more logically and use paragraphing to group related information together more effectively. Transitions need to be smoother to help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. There is some repetitiveness in the way ideas are presented which can be addressed by varying your language.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points made in the essay and restate your position clearly, which was not effectively done in this essay. The introduction should also clearly state the main points that will be discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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