People should be allowed to obscure their identity online. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #identity

Nowadays, everything is done online over offline

due to

the fast and easiest way. It is believed by some that

identity

should not be exposed online.

This

essay will argue why I do not support

this

statement entirely by providing some supportive examples. On the one hand,

people

argue to keep their

identity

safe and not to share online.

This

is because as they think of the fraud they can become the victim of it. When they share, something private online, there is a huge threat of being stolen that

information

without noticing it and

then

they are being bullied by strangers.

For instance

, research is evident that 70

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of the

people

on Facebook receive fake usernames and messages and get trapped by fraudsters easily. Their private

information

and pictures are utilized for other illegal purposes.

Hence

, it is believed to not expose the

identity

on online platforms.

On the other hand

, uploading

identity

online is imperative in various aspects. To receive a better opportunity for a job in any field,

people

have to give them all their

information

such

as their names, phone numbers, email IDs etcetera on social sites like Indeed and

Linkedln

Correct your spelling

Linked

For example

, many friends of mine put

this

information

on LinkedIn with their resumes and pictures to get a job.

Therefore

people

need to put

this

online to receive better opportunities despite having some risks to their

identity

from fraudsters. In conclusion,

although

it is important to hide the

identity

on social media most importantly to reduce the fear of being bullied by strangers, it is simply essential to share it online on

such

platforms that can make the future better in terms of providing job offers.

Submitted by neetpunar on Sat Dec 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have presented a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is commendable. However, the connection between ideas can be improved with smoother transitions and more cohesive devices.

task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single central idea, supported by clear examples or evidence. Avoid being too general; specificity will make an argument more convincing and relevant.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People should be allowed to obscure their identity online. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

Holidays honor people and events. if you could create a new holiday, what person or event it would honor and how would you want people to celebrate it ? use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a job,others believe that it woulg be better is they go straight to work and gain experience instead. discuss both sides and give your opinion.