IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this

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Today, societies have improved poor eating habits and
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not take a balanced diet on their daily intake.
This
Linking Words
 essay will try to identify the contribution to
this
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 and
also
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 explain some solutions that may emerge to
this
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. There are so many causes behind
this
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 bad habit of eating, one of them is
time
Use synonyms
 management. adults who work more than 5 hours in 5 days a week, usually do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to prepare their own meals.
Instead
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 of buying
the
Correct article usage
apply
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healthy
food
Use synonyms
 on their grocery list, they take the short way by buying fast
food
Use synonyms
 and keeping it in the fridge for a couple of days.
For instance
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, Bankers who work from 9 to 5 substitute their
time
Use synonyms
 to go to the supermarket to hang with friends like visiting new places or going to the cinema. The alternative solution, if the professionals do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to buy fresh
food
Use synonyms
, they can use the delivery service provided by the supermarket. Not only save
time
Use synonyms
, but
also
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 quite simple
then
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 quick, so by clicking and checking out at mall web page it is done in 5 minutes.
for example
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, The accountant
at the end
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 of the month,
due to
Linking Words
 the overload of
a closing books
Correct the article-noun agreement
closing books
a closing book
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can order some vegetables and fruits only by visiting the market on
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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. in conclusion, the reason for poor eating habits and not consuming a balanced diet is the lack of
time
Use synonyms
 to
preparing
Wrong verb form
prepare
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food
Use synonyms
, Using modern applications or web browsers to buy healthy groceries is the perfect way to tackle those
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should broadly state the essay topic and your thesis, the body should contain paragraphs with individual main points that support your thesis, and the conclusion should recapitulate your argument and reflect on the implications.
coherence cohesion
The essay should be logically organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Use transition words and phrases to connect paragraphs and sentences, and make sure each paragraph follows logically from the one before it.
coherence cohesion
Your main points should be well-developed and supported with specific examples or evidence. Avoid making general statements without backing them up.
task achievement
To fully respond to the task, make sure you address all parts of the question. Both causes and solutions to the problem should be explored thoroughly.
task achievement
Ideas should be presented clearly and developed comprehensively, with detailed explanations and examples. Be sure to explain how each idea relates to the main topic and avoid straying off-topic.
task achievement
Make use of relevant, specific examples to support your points. These can be drawn from your own experience, knowledge, or other credible sources.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced diet
  • poor eating habits
  • unhealthy food
  • fast food
  • convenience
  • advertising
  • nutrition
  • financial constraints
  • emotional eating
  • peer pressure
  • hectic work schedules
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • junk food
  • processed food
  • nutrient-rich
  • obesity
  • health consequences
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