Some museums charge for entrance while others are free. Discuss the reasons for both approaches and give your own opinion

Have you ever paid for a museum entry?

While

Linking Words

some

museums

Use synonyms

charge

visitors

Use synonyms

for entrance, some of them don’t. there are two diverse points of view on

museums

Use synonyms

taking funds from

people

Use synonyms

.one of which is of the opinion that

visitors

Use synonyms

must pay the

museums

Use synonyms

for their visit.

Conversely

Linking Words

, the other one believes that visiting

museums

Use synonyms

should be free. I agree with the second idea. On the one hand, some individuals state that

due to

Linking Words

entry charges, many

people

Use synonyms

are not able to afford

visiting

Change the verb form

to visit

show examples

museums

Use synonyms

which is not fair. Just consider families with low income, not having enough budget to take their children to

such

Linking Words

cultural destinations. In

fact

Add a comma

fact,

show examples

only a certain group of citizens can enjoy these places which may show the lack of justice. Only when

museums

Use synonyms

avoid

taking

Verb problem

paying

show examples

entry fees, all

people

Use synonyms

could

Verb problem

apply

show examples

have the chance to visit them. As a matter of fact, with

this

Linking Words

method, not only will everyone enjoy visiting

museums

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

the number of

visitors

Use synonyms

will

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

increased

Wrong verb form

increase

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, Some

people

Use synonyms

tend to state that visiting

museums

Use synonyms

should not be priceless.

This

Linking Words

is largely

due to

Linking Words

preserving the unique objects kept

Change preposition

show examples

these places and for the museum’s

members

Change noun form

members'

member's

show examples

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

which

are

Change the verb form

show examples

vital. Just consider how responsible

museums

Use synonyms

are towards maintaining antique articles and how much money they are supposed to pay their staff. In fact, with

museums

Use synonyms

selling tickets to

visitors

Use synonyms

, not only will they enhance the quality of conserving items, but

also

Linking Words

they can provide the employee’s payment

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

these fees. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

museums

Use synonyms

not taking money from

visitors

Use synonyms

might seem pretty much fair, it may cause issues for the museum’s quality and

museums

Use synonyms

must get funds in order to have a better condition. I find the second idea more appropriate

however

Linking Words

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

museums

Use synonyms

can fix some specific days for free visits.

Arman

Dec 31, 2023

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coherence cohesion

In terms of task achievement, your essay addresses the question, but the ideas could be more fully developed and expanded with relevant examples from real-life scenarios. Your opinion is clear, although further illustration of your point of view would be beneficial. Considering coherence and cohesion, the essay generally follows a logical order, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance readability. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they would benefit from a clearer thesis statement and summary of main points, respectively. Furthermore, supporting main points should be elaborated upon to strenghen the arguments. Lastly, ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea, and use a range of cohesive devices.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, ensure that the essay prompts are fully addressed by expanding on your main points with detailed examples. Furthermore, the balance between the discussion of both viewpoints could be improved to meet the requirement of 'discussion of both views and a conclusion'. A balanced argument leads to a more thorough discussion and enhances the overall task achievement score. Make your opinion even more prominent by justifying it with clear and persuasive reasoning. Lastly, examples should be directly related to the claims you are making and should be as specific as possible to support your arguments effectively.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Some museums charge for entrance while others are free. Discuss the reasons for both approaches and give your own opinion

Some people believe that free housing should be provided by the government for the under-privileged and people who cannot afford to buy a house. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Online shopping seems to be replacing the traditional method of buying. However some buyers are sceptical of this practice. Discuss both benefits and risks associated with online shopping.

Some people suggest that bringing up children by thw whole family includimg uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree?