Some people prefer to develop a large social circle, whereas others prefer to have a few close relationships. Discuss the advantages of both. Then state which situation you prefer and why.
Relationships
play a crucial role in Use synonyms
people
's lives. Some like to make vast Use synonyms
relationships
in society, Use synonyms
whereas
others choose to have a minimum of close friendships. I strongly agree with the former opinion because making a large Linking Words
group
of the social Use synonyms
circle
can lead to more benefits Use synonyms
such
as enormous job offers and aid from others. Linking Words
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
There are some advantages of having a large Linking Words
group
of friends. Getting more employment opportunities is the main benefit of Use synonyms
this
trend because vast Linking Words
relationships
bring more connection and contact to employers and businessmen and Use synonyms
people
may get job offers from them. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
people
like to make a relationship with social media, and Use synonyms
as a result
, they have to obtain more benefits and help the best number of Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Having a large number of Linking Words
relationships
might get knowledge and share their ideas and thoughts.
There are some benefits of maintaining a small Use synonyms
circle
because it brings more trust and confidentiality between small groups Use synonyms
while
many have to find out other's skills and talents. Linking Words
For instance
, one of my cousins is introverted, he only has a few close friends and they can share their confidential matters. Linking Words
In other words
, the small Linking Words
circle
can create close bonds with other Use synonyms
people
in groups Use synonyms
instead
of many Linking Words
people
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
close social circles are confidential and trustworthy so Linking Words
people
have to share their ideas and thoughts, a large number of Use synonyms
people
contain a Use synonyms
group
brings more employment opportunities and helps the tendency of others. Use synonyms
Hence
, I strongly agree that a large Linking Words
group
of social Use synonyms
Use synonyms
circle
brings more advantages.Fix the agreement mistake
circles
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a weak logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. It is essential to use a range of cohesive devices appropriately and carefully.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they could be improved. Make sure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support for main points is minimal. Include more detailed examples, explanations, and evidence to support each advantage presented, making sure they are relevant and persuasive.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat incomplete. The question asks for a discussion of the advantages of both a large social circle and a few close relationships. While the essay mentions both, it does so unevenly and without depth. Ensure to more fully explore both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Ideas are not conveyed as clearly or comprehensively as needed for a higher band. Strive to develop each point with clarity, providing adequate explanation to convey your argument effectively.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is quite limited, which makes some claims appear unsupported. Include more specific, relevant examples to illustrate the advantages discussed. These examples should be detailed and directly connected to the main point they are meant to support.