Is it good for children to start using a computer at a young age? Give the advantages and disadvantages of doing this.

the world has changed and that includes the internet and
computers
. at an early
age
is it good for children to start using
computers
and spend long hours on them.
This
essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
this
. there are many advantages to using
computers
from an early
age
.
first,
it is excellent to
learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
the child how to
use
computers
.
due to
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
it will teach the children to depend on themselves.
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
it is
importantbecause
Correct your spelling
important because
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers
they can search and find good websites.
Second,
learning how to
use
computers
is very
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
for their
futurw
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future
.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
people need
computers
for many reasons .
for
example
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example,
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people need it for their jobs.
Also
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Also,
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students need it to do research
fo
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for
show examples
Correct article usage
a masters
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masters
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master's
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degree. Third and
finally
,
the
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apply
show examples
computers
are one of the best ways to
learb
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learn
and educate.
Yhe
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The
kids now live a different life than the one in the
pasr
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past
. Back
then
when the students did not understand a lesson they had to ask the teacher .
However
, now they can search on the internet
about
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for
show examples
any lesson and they can find it.
However
,
There
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there
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are
som
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some
show examples
disadvantages to using
computers
from an early
age
.
First,
using
the
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apply
show examples
computers
can be a waste of time .
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
the kids can
plat
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play
show examples
and do some exercise
instead
of using the
computers
for a long time .
Also
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Also,
show examples
it is bad because
watchung
Correct your spelling
watching
screens can damage their eyes.
Second,
they may watch
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
not appropriate for their
age
. There are many websites
Correct pronoun usage
that shared
show examples
shared
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
videos that no one should see
likr
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like
killing videos and others, at an early
age
kids should be learning how to
wrote
Wrong verb form
write
show examples
with a pen not how to
use
computers
.
Thus
when
theu
Correct your spelling
they
the
learn to
use
computers
, they will not be excited about learning how to write with a pen. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
it is clear to see that there are many advantages to using
computers
from an early
age
.
However
, it is
also
true that there are
som
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
serious disadvantages.
Submitted by alfred on

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introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the structure of your essay. Your introduction did provide a preview of the advantages and disadvantages to be discussed.
logical structure
Use paragraphing effectively to separate ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the sentences following it expand or explain that point.
coherence cohesion
Employ linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will ensure smooth transitions and aid in the logical flow of your essay.
conclusion
In your conclusion, reiterate your position and summarize the main points of your argument. Ensure that your conclusion reflects the information presented within the body of the essay.
task achievement
For task achievement, address all parts of the task sufficiently. This includes fully exploring the advantages and disadvantages related to the essay question.
idea development
Formulate your ideas with clarity and develop them comprehensively, providing relevant examples where suitable. You've touched on several points, but most remain under-developed.
specific examples
Back up your main points with specific examples or evidence. While you provided some examples, they were quite general. More detail would enhance your argument's effectiveness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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