Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

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Nowadays, there are many concerns about young

children

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leaving

school

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without learning how to control their

money

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This

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essay will present some root causes and suggest solutions for each one. The main reason is the way that people educate

children

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First,

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the

school

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is lacking vital courses related to

money

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For example

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, we can see many

classes

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about science or art, but hardly see any soft-skill

classes

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like financial management or time management.

Second,

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this

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problem

also

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comes from how each family let their kids use

money

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. Some parents believe that if the kid has some

money

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, he or she could pay less attention to studying

thus

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decreasing their performance.

However

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, by doing

this

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way, they

also

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teach their kids nothing related to finance. There are some solutions for both

school

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and family.

First,

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the education system should add more

classes

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about soft skills, especially

money

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and finance, which are really practical for

children

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For instance

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, some schools in Europe offer Start-up

classes

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to teach students how to build a small business

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apply

show examples

and read and create a simple balance sheet.

Besides

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, the parents should share, discuss and guide kids on how to manage their

money

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. It will be better for

children

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if they have a chance to earn some pocket

money

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, pay for what they want and plan how to use it properly. In conclusion, some students finish their high

school

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education

while

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learning nothing about financial management.

This

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is the result of incorrect education of both

school

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and family.

Therefore

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, the

school

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, the administrator and the parents should take actions like creating more practical

classes

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and sharing more about how to use

money

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with their

children

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as soon as possible.

studywithmee.2022Fri Jun 17 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction sets the context and states the main points to be discussed, while the conclusion should summarize the arguments and restate the position or findings. Missing a clear introduction or conclusion can significantly affect the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Improve logical structure by providing clear topic sentences and following them with appropriate explanations and examples. Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using suitable linking words and phrases.

coherence cohesion

To enhance the support of main points, include a range of examples and explanations. These should be specifically linked to the arguments being made and contribute to a fuller understanding of the issue.

task achievement

Complete the response to the essay topic by addressing all parts of the task. Your essay may have fully satisfied the prompt, but providing additional balanced viewpoints could further enrich your response.

task achievement

Clarify and develop ideas fully. It's not enough to just list points; each idea should be expanded with explanation, detail, and illustration to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Include a balance of general statements and specific examples to substantiate your ideas. The examples should be detailed, relevant, and illustrate the points effectively.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

In a number of developing countries, the quality of air and water is declining day by day. State the problems due to this? Discuss the possible solutions for dealing with these problems.

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think is the cause for this? What a possible solution can you suggest?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?