Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

Nowadays many
youngster
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youngsters
show examples
tend
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tends
show examples
to spend their valuable time on their smartphones, it is because
,
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apply
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development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of digitalization very fast and affecting
ever
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
part of
the
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their
show examples
life. There are many
reason
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reasons
show examples
behind
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
situation and I find
this
development more
benefical
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beneficial
than
negative
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the negative
show examples
sides, in the following paragraph I will examine my point of view and will give
detail
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detailed
show examples
information. First of all, the reason for
over-usage
Correct article usage
the over-usage
show examples
of smart devices by youngsters
Correct your spelling
is
the social benefit that they provide.
The smartphones
Correct article usage
Smartphones
show examples
connected
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the internet
opens
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open
show examples
uo
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up
many possibilities, from creating new friends to communicating with them over social media all over the world.
For instance
, a child in my neighbourhood chats with his friends for hours through social applications
such
as WhatsApp, Facebook or Instagram and
also
spend
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spends
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time playing video
games
.
In addition
, playing video
games
specially
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especially
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multiple
games
,
isanother
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is another
major reason for
this
situation.
While
playing video
games
online, they forget
timing
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the timing
show examples
and
studying
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study
show examples
for their lessons.
However
, smartphones have
also
provide
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provided
show examples
curical
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crucial
information and knowledge for pupils. It has developed some important social skills,
such
as communication skills, teamwork and many more, by allowing them to work and play in groups, without the restriction of distance.
İn
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In
addition, children can learn through
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
by watching online videos and reading articles or sharing their knowledge, which ultimately helps them in their studies
as well as
language skills.
For example
, whenever my niece requires to learn about something, he searches on the internet by himself and
find
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finds
show examples
bunch
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a bunch
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of information.
Morever
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Moreover
, online teaching methods
applys
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applies
in many schools recently,
it
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and it
show examples
helps to attend many
personel
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personal
personnel
development courses without going anywhere.
To sum up
, it is an undeniable fact that,
improvment
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improvements
in the digital platform and devices will be affecting all
part
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parts
show examples
of our life, even
tough
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though
show examples
there are
drawbcaks
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drawbacks
, digitalization offers many benefits,
every
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and every
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oppouse
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oppose
opposite
should supervise their children to use smart devices in a good manner and keep them away from
harmfull
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harmful
effects.
Submitted by nurullahgultekin3451 on

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task achievement
Make sure you address all parts of the task. You need to also clearly outline if the increase in smartphone use by children is a positive or negative development. Additionally, make sure to balance your essay by exploring both sides of the argument thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear logical structure in your essays. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by an explanation and an example. Additionally, check your use of cohesive devices and try not to overuse them to ensure clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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