IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Animals are in danger of extinctions. Some people say we should protect only those animal which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree ?

#animals #danger #extinctions #people #humans
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It is often argued that wild
animals
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 are going to extinct from
this
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 world and only those who are beneficial for people should be captivated. I totally disagree with
this
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 opinion and think that both endangered
as well as
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 other
animals
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 should be given equal priority and protection. First of all, wild
animals
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 are part of an ecosystem and they have a
right
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 to live safely in their territory . No humans have a
right
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 to kill them for their use. There are a lot of
animals
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 whose population is at a diminishing rate
such
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 as one-horned rhinoceros, Bengal tiger, red panda, and so on.Yearly they are being killed by the predators for multiple purposes.
Instead
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, they should be given more time and dedication to safeguard their lives.
However
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, other
animals
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 should be looked after too.
Furthermore
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, it will be totally unfair if only
animals
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 whose skin and meat are important to humans are kept and we will not be able to show young generations about different
animals
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 that lived or existed before they were born.
In other words
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, our children will be able to watch on their electronic devices but not in the real world.
Similarly
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, they are living organisms on
this
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 planet and have an equal
right
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 to live like us . That's why it is crucial to maintain equal balance by placing and treating several natural
animals
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 separately.
To conclude
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, as the number of
animals
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 is decreasing order they have a great role in maintaining an ecosystem
as well as
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 they have a
right
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 to live a life as humans do. And, we must be able to show the younger generation in their real life.
Submitted by suneel22.sn on

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coherence cohesion
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