Some people think that schools should involve students in school management. Do you agree or disagree with this idea, give reasons and examples supporting your answers
At
this
time of the globe, the main educational system
is school
.For decades of time,in schools
, there are
a Wrong verb form
has been
system
of boards that manage the school
.Some people believe that schools
should get pupils
to management
.In this
below Correct determiner usage
the
paragaphs
, I will discuss reasons before it Correct your spelling
paragraphs
paragraph
is coming
to a conclusion.
On the one hand,It might be beneficial to involve Wrong verb form
comes
students
to
Change preposition
in
management
due to
a vast number of reasons.First and foremost,Only pupils
are aware of their school
's needs and wants
as Change the verb form
want
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
prespectative
and some Correct your spelling
perspective
students
are dramatically shy to expand their thoughts to the school
board or to the top heads who manage their school
.For example
in 2007 St'jhone's College's computer lab needed faster and new technological laptops and other electric items,Hovever due to
students
' shyness and lack of communication the lab remained as it was till 2008.Moreover
based on this
senarrio
Correct your spelling
scenario
students
involved in management
Correct article usage
the management
system
can lead
to good understanding and communication with Verb problem
have
schools
and pupils
.
On the other hand
, adding pupils
into school
management
can make enormous
difference as well.Add an article
an enormous
Firstly
,It can be challenging for pupils
' educational system
due to
lack of time for studies.Furthermore
,inviting students
into the management
system
can cause a lack of respect for school
rules and regulations because pupils
have already become the pst
of it.Correct your spelling
past
Lastly
,The majority of schools
are to provide education on managing skills.
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
with
my opinion,I strongly believe that Change preposition
apply
schools
restrict rules and run them by the school
.However
, to improve students
' management
skills,schools
can provide limited managing parts to pupils
.Submitted by nipunhasmitha97 on
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task achievement
The essay shows an understanding of the topic and attempts to cover both sides; however, the development of ideas is only partially effective. Specific examples are used, but they are not fully expanded or convincing. Task response can be improved by delving deeper into how student involvement in management could work and its potential impacts on school dynamics and learning outcomes. Including more detailed examples and explaining the reasoning behind them will strengthen the argument and provide a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay shows that an introduction and conclusion are present, and there is an attempt to organize the main points in a logical way. However, transitions between points can be smoother, and there is a need for better topic sentence formation. The essay could benefit from clearer paragraphing where each paragraph focuses on one clear idea, supported by cohesive devices to enhance the logical flow of information.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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