Some believe travel is overrated. People argue whether travel is or is not a component of a quality education. To what extent do you agree with it?

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There is a debatable argument between
people
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who argue that
travel
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is not appropriate for
education
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purposes,
while
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others believe it is. I believe that
travel
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can be part of
education
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components if the destination is intended to do so, but it is still expensive for some
people
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. So, I prefer to support a balanced perspective toward it.
To begin
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with,
travel
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requires spending a sum of money, and for some
people
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they cannot afford to pay for it. Normally,
people
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who cannot afford to
travel
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prefer to choose an alternative for cheaper options
such
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as conducting a field study, so that they only spend less.
However
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,
travel
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for educational purposes might be great for learning history and sometimes conventional study
such
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as in class hardly provides the details about the materials.
That is
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the way
travel
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plays the role of giving a quality
education
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.
On the other hand
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,
travel
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is not the only way to acquire knowledge through visiting the sites in person. There are lots of different options that may be giving the same or even above level of quality
education
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such
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as streaming services. Watching documentary movies about certain historical events,
for instance
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, can be an option to deep dive the history with affordable prices rather than
people
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spending their time travelling on-site.
Besides
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, visual effects and animation are a great help for increasing our experience
while
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we watch and they leave a
long-lastinglast
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long-lasting
memory. All in all,
travel
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can be a solution for learning certain subjects that require a person's presence.
Due to
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its expensive price,
however
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,
travel
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is not for everyone and there are still lots of options as the replacement for cheaper ones
such
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as streaming services with more in-depth experience.
Submitted by pedrothedawn on

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task achievement
You should ensure that your main points directly address the essay prompt. While you have provided an opinion, you could have included a broader range of ideas and developed those ideas further to fully respond to the question.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a basic logical structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to help the reader follow your argument more easily. Work on using a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expands horizons
  • diverse cultures
  • open-mindedness
  • cultural appreciation
  • hands-on learning
  • historical locations
  • natural wonders
  • geography
  • independence
  • problem-solving
  • financial constraints
  • physical disabilities
  • contingent upon
  • virtual travel
  • immersive learning experiences
  • experiential learning
  • traditional classroom education
  • structured knowledge
  • theoretical foundations
  • environmental impact
  • air travel
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