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Band 3

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #diet #outweigh
Nowadays,
part
Change preposition
in part
show examples
 of the world many people tend to change their normal diets to
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
 diet.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
 diet can be advantageous for a healthy
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
, it can
Add a missing verb
be harmfull
show examples
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
harmfully
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
body
 in many ways
due to
lack
 of
nutrients
. So I believe having normal non-veg
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 can be more beneficial to the human
body
.
Known
Correct article usage
The known
show examples
 truth is that vegetarian
meals
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
certain important
nutrients
.
For instance
, kind of proteins
that
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 helpful
to strengthen
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in strengthening
show examples
up
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apply
show examples
human muscles are not present in these
meals
. Meats like beef can be more beneficial in creating
hemoglabin
Correct your spelling
haemoglobin
whic
Correct your spelling
which
 is
mor helpfull
Correct your spelling
more helpful
to absorb
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in absorbing
show examples
 iron
to
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in
show examples
 our
body
.
Protiens
Correct your spelling
Proteins
 are more
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 in making
human
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the human
show examples
body
 strong and fit.
Due to
this
 reason so many fitness
couches
Correct your spelling
coaches
show examples
also
advice
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advise
show examples
 their
meals
 with
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
 dishes like beef and eggs to be
more strong
Correct word choice
stronger
show examples
.
On the other hand
, leading
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 can reduce
body's
Correct article usage
the body's
show examples
 immunity and some people even reduce their
hemeglobin
Correct your spelling
haemoglobin
 level
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
nutrients
. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 example, Anemia is a common condition
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 vegetarian food consumers.
Also
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 of them
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their muscle
strenghth
Correct your spelling
strength
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
.
Also
 so many of them present with
faintishess
Correct your spelling
faintish
 and loss of weight. In conclusion, being vegetarian can be disadvantageous in many ways because these
meals
lacks
Change the verb form
lack
show examples
 some important
nutrients
. So it can be helpful to consume
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 to stay strong and healthy.
Submitted by darshanadnj20 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a coherent structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that develop the idea further. Logical connectors should be used to help the flow of ideas.
task achievement
There is a lack of a clear opinion throughout the essay. The reader is left unsure of the writer's stance on the issue. Task response could be improved by clearly stating the opinion in the introduction, supporting it with relevant examples in the main body, and reiterating it in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Vegetarian diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Carbon footprint
  • Deforestation
  • Animal welfare
  • Nutritional deficiencies
  • Balanced intake
  • Societal norms
  • Meat-dominant
  • Sustainable living
  • Plant-based proteins
What to do next:
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