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Band 6.5

The chart shows the end of year value for four major international money market indices in 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008.

The chart shows the end of year value for four major international money market indices in 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008.
#year #value #four #money #market #indices
The pie graph given delineates the ultimate value in a year of 4 main international money market indices, which stand for
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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, the US, Korea and France, starting from 2005 to 2008. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen from the chart, all 4 indices witnessed an uptrend in the value of money markets. It is noticeable that throughout the period,
Dow
Correct article usage
the Dow
show examples
 Jones
index
 always took the lead
while
KOSPI
Correct article usage
the KOSPI
show examples
index
 stood in the lowest place. To be more precise, Dow Jones began at about 11000 points and kept rising until the year 2008. In spite of dropping sharply from nearly 14000 to under 9000 in that year, Dow Jones still recorded the highest score. In stark contrast, the score surveyed of
Korean
Correct article usage
the Korean
show examples
 market
index
 was under 2000 in 4 continuous years.
As a result
, its ranking was the lowest
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
4
Correct article usage
the 4
show examples
nations. Moving to FTSE 100, its registered data was rather steady. Beginning at roughly 6000, it peaked at nearly 7000 in 2007, but rapidly decreased right after that, at around 4000 in 2008.
Although
French
Correct article usage
the French
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 market
index
 experienced the same tendency, in comparison, its data was slightly lower. Its peak was at around 6000 in 2007
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
then
 declined to more than 3000
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period.
Submitted by weezel on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words index with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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