Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

#children #hours #smartphones #case #iş #negatife #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is an ever-growing perception nowadays that some

children

are glued to their

smartphones

, The main Contributor to

this

behaviour is the

parents

, because

children

usually mimic their fathers' actions, and I believe that

this

phenomenon is an absolute, negative development.

Firstly

, I would like to highlight the cause of

this

problem

This

;in my opinion; is

Parents

' behaviour, It is easily seen by everyone that we all nowadays tend to waste our time on mobile Phone applications like Facebook, Twitter and other social media apps which in turn reflects on our offspring who likely do the same. To illustrate I would prefer to reveal the conclusion of a Survey which said that 100 per cent of

children

do the

Same

Fix capitalization

same

show examples

things as their

Parents

Secondly

, of course,

smartphones

have various advantages, but those advantages are uncomparable to disadvantages,

In other words

smartphones

help

children

to develop their abilities, but

on the other hand

, they have made

children

's life more sedentary with much low

physial

Correct your spelling

physical

activities that lead to not only detrimental effects on youngsters' well-being

such

as obesity and diabetes but

also

affects their mental

fitnes

Correct your spelling

fitness

this

reduces blood supply to the brain. Looking

Change preposition

show examples

the past before

smartphones

were introduced, a study revealed that

children

were three times more active than kids nowadays, so it is advisable to cease these practices.

To conclude

children

nowadays are addicted deeply to their

smartphones

mainly because they, tend to duplicate their

parents

' doings,

this

is bad for their mental and physical health, but if they stopped these bad practices their health would ameliorate.

Submitted by moo.elnokrashy on Mon Jan 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly states the topic and your position regarding the positive or negative impact of smartphone usage, in order to present a focused argument throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Provide a more balanced argument with specific examples to support your points, especially when discussing both sides of the argument (positive and negative impacts of smartphone use on children).

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that signal the main idea of each paragraph, ensuring logical flow of information.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion should summarise the main points of your essay clearly, restating your position in a compelling manner that reflects the arguments made throughout your essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

263 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?
It is argued that phones have made a large proportion of merits, however, it has negative impacts.
5
band
Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this modern world, there is an ongoing debate about whether authorities are paying much attention to artists and neglecting other factors or whether it is a good way to support their belief and other ways. I believe that focusing on each of the equally will have a majority of advantages that is good for people and environment.
5.5
band
Some people think that building tall building is the best way to create more housing space, while other people believe it's better to build many houses on land. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Many societies believe that building a high building is the best measure to provide more space for housing, others think that it is better to construct the house on land/ground. In my opinion, for limited areas with dense population, multi storey apartment is the best model of public housing, while for sites with less populated, building house on spacious land could be more favorable.
6
band
Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old houses in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own style. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this present era, there is a trend to develop modern houses in the colony. Some folks believe that the construction of the residences should follow the same pattern offer some advantages to maintaining the amenities of palace, while others disagree with this statement. In my opinion, although making the same houses in the operation offers some merits of maintaining uniformity in the general space. On the contrary, everyone has the right to build his shack as per his comfort and needs which will promote diversity in a community.
6.5
band
In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
A considerable discussion point is whether social parks and free spaces are being converted into gardens where inhabitants can plant personal products. This writer contends that the benefit of raising awareness of healthy fruit is eclipsed by the drawbacks of chemical substances requirements and difficulties in management.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that building tall building is the best way to create more housing space, while other people believe it's better to build many houses on land. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old houses in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own style. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?