Some children nowadays take sport seriously while others play sports in their free time. positive or negative trend

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In
this
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contemporary setting, some sections of children enrolled in regular exercise classes
whereas
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others take sports as a hobby for spare time. Experts have a great debate about whether it is a rewarding transition or a detrimental one. I consider it a devastating development. My elaborated perspective will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
First,
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an obvious drawback of
this
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notion is depriving
kids
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of playing freely and acquiring essential
life
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skills. The early age of
life
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is really crucial for
kids
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, as they should be familiar with their surroundings.
Moreover
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, they should allocate their time to tasks which boost their cognitive learning.
For example
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, based on several surveys those offspring who did a diverse range of playful activities on their schedule had 30% higher grades on their course works.
Second,
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the other possible outcome of
this
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alteration is losing interest. To be more precise, a strict plan for sports would pose a negative tension in
kids
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,
as a result
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of high competition in a few sports like wrestling and judo, since the
kids
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are not mature enough to distinguish between play and real
life
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.
For instance
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, my little son intensively hated taking part in the gym with a personal trainer but
in contrast
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, he opted to go to the playground to play friendly with peers.
To sum up
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, mandatory acts and exercises can cause discomfort in children. I believe that
this
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statement tends to be unappealing, and
this
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shift not only eradicates their aptitude for later
life
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but
also
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prevents them from their basic teaching requirements.
Therefore
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, I find
this
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change a negative alteration

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic which is developed logically and not just a list of unrelated comments.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately but do not over-use them, attempt to use a range of devices.
task achievement
Provide a clear position throughout the response. Consider both sides of the issue for a fully developed argument.
task achievement
Extend and support main points with specific details or examples to add to the depth of the analysis.
task achievement
Re-examine the essay to ensure that it remains on topic throughout and directly addresses the question prompt with relevant arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Competitive spirit
  • Discipline
  • Perseverance
  • Goal-setting
  • Professional avenues
  • Scholarships
  • Burnout
  • Overtraining
  • Leisure activity
  • Overall development
  • Social benefits
  • Health benefits
  • Team dynamics
  • Self-esteem
  • Parental influence
  • Coaching methods
  • Success emphasis
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