Some children nowadays take sport seriously while others play sports in their free time. positive or negative trend

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In
this
contemporary setting, some sections of children enrolled in regular exercise classes
whereas
others take sports as a hobby for spare time. Experts have a great debate about whether it is a rewarding transition or a detrimental one. I consider it a devastating development. My elaborated perspective will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
First,
an obvious drawback of
this
notion is depriving
kids
of playing freely and acquiring essential
life
skills. The early age of
life
is really crucial for
kids
, as they should be familiar with their surroundings.
Moreover
, they should allocate their time to tasks which boost their cognitive learning.
For example
, based on several surveys those offspring who did a diverse range of playful activities on their schedule had 30% higher grades on their course works.
Second,
the other possible outcome of
this
alteration is losing interest. To be more precise, a strict plan for sports would pose a negative tension in
kids
,
as a result
of high competition in a few sports like wrestling and judo, since the
kids
are not mature enough to distinguish between play and real
life
.
For instance
, my little son intensively hated taking part in the gym with a personal trainer but
in contrast
, he opted to go to the playground to play friendly with peers.
To sum up
, mandatory acts and exercises can cause discomfort in children. I believe that
this
statement tends to be unappealing, and
this
shift not only eradicates their aptitude for later
life
but
also
prevents them from their basic teaching requirements.
Therefore
, I find
this
change a negative alteration
Submitted by ziba.gharehnazifam on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately but do not over-use them, attempt to use a range of devices.
task achievement
Provide a clear position throughout the response. Consider both sides of the issue for a fully developed argument.
task achievement
Extend and support main points with specific details or examples to add to the depth of the analysis.
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Re-examine the essay to ensure that it remains on topic throughout and directly addresses the question prompt with relevant arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Competitive spirit
  • Discipline
  • Perseverance
  • Goal-setting
  • Professional avenues
  • Scholarships
  • Burnout
  • Overtraining
  • Leisure activity
  • Overall development
  • Social benefits
  • Health benefits
  • Team dynamics
  • Self-esteem
  • Parental influence
  • Coaching methods
  • Success emphasis
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