Museums are often thought to be boring, and many people perceive visiting them a waste of time. What do you think is the importance of museums, and how can they be made intersting?

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Nowadays, the number of people

traveling

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travelling

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museums

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has considerably decreased as they are dull and monotonous.

However

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, they play a crucial role in keeping the history of human civilization in a particular time and place. In

this

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essay, the significance of

museums

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and pronounced ways to make them more attractive will be elaborated before the conclusion is reached.

Museums

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are places where important ancient

stuff

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, masterpiece art, inventions, biological evidence, and many more are preserved. Without them, many historical

stuff

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has been destroyed.

Moreover

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, People can learn their history, background, and the past from these venues.

For example

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, children can learn about the era of the Renaissance via the paintings and statues of Davinci and D'angello, which are still beautiful in the museum in Paris.

Therefore

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museums

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should exist to take care of

this

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crucial

stuff

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and be useful for education. There are many ways to make a gallery more interesting. First of all, the authorities should decorate their gallery with famous artwork.

This

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can attract numerous visitors who are willing to see the masterpiece with their eyes. To illustrate, every day the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, the Netherlands has been welcoming thousands of tourists who want to see the eminent picture named Sunflower.

Secondly

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, the art gallery needs to have fun activities for visitors.

For instance

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instead

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of just watching the painting, tourists can listen to audio explaining the story behind those paintings, which makes them appreciate every moment. In conclusion,

although

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museums

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are important and good for learning, the popularity of exhibitions has been dramatically reduced. The authorities can rehabilitate their popularity by bringing attractive

stuff

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and

add

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adding

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interesting activities.

pantamitsaekongTue Apr 16 2024

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Writing Style

Try to diversify your sentence structures to enhance the readability and dynamic of your essay.

Lexical Resource

Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to reflect more precise meanings and to avoid repetitions.

Grammar

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve overall clarity.

Content Depth

Consider expanding your argument with more nuanced perspectives and potential counterarguments to enrich the discussion.

Content Understanding

Your essay effectively outlines the importance of museums and suggests practical ways to make them more appealing. This shows a strong grasp of the topic.

Use of Examples

You've provided concrete examples, like the Van Gogh Museum, to support your arguments, enhancing your essay's persuasive power.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Museums are often thought to be boring, and many people perceive visiting them a waste of time. What do you think is the importance of museums, and how can they be made intersting?

Your opinion

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Some people believe that it is better to have the same job throughout their life, while others think that people should change their job after some period of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

In many countries, young people are richer, they have not only security but also they are healthier than ever before. However, they seem unhappy. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to overcome this problem?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.