IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Describe the possible causes and give suggestion on how people should prepare for work in the future.

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Due to
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 the rapid shift in today's working style, there has been a striking
change
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 in working conditions
as well as
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 the number of jobs people can take. The writer of
this
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 essay believes that
technology
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 plays a vital role in causing
this
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change
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 and will give some recommendations for individuals to prepare for work in the future. The primary factor contributing to the
change
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 in the working environment can be traced back to the rise of
technology
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. In the past, as
technology
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 did not gain as much popularity as it does in the present,
workers
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 only worked at the office from nine to five every day, which was considered dull and repetitive.
By contrast
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, with the working environment being modernized by
technology
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,
workers
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 nowadays can either work at home or anywhere as long as they get their
job
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 done effectively, making their working schedule more flexible.
For example
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, online meeting apps enable employees to connect with their companies regardless of physical distance.
Moreover
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,
technology
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 brings access to the latest news to individuals, helping them find various jobs with convenience. Specifically, modern life is always attached to finance, meaning that if an employee only takes a
job
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 for life, they can not afford their basic expenditure. With the rising financial concern, many
workers
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 would rather take more than one
job
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 in order to gain more income, making being loyal to one
job
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 no longer the top choice when it comes to choosing the occupation. In the writer's perspective, to be well-prepared for work in the next few years, people should investigate deeply for
job
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 demands in numerous sectors. To clarify, with enough knowledge about the
job
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 demands, everyone can have a chance to get hands-on experience
that is
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 suitable for that
job
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,
therefore
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 making their CV more valuable when taking an interview. In conclusion, there is no doubt that
technology
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 is the most significant factor provoking the
change
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 in not only working conditions but
also
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 the quantity of jobs
workers
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 take. Ultimately, the writer suggests that looking up future
job
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 requirements can benefit individuals in terms of preparing for future careers.

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument and addresses the task well. However, you could strengthen your position further by giving more examples or elaborating on your suggestions in the concluding paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the transition between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay. Using linking phrases can help guide the reader more smoothly from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
While your introduction is effective, giving a brief overview of the main points you will discuss could provide clearer context for your readers.
task achievement
The essay identifies technology as a central theme and discusses its impact on working conditions effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and follows a clear path from introduction to conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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