it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

#people #risks #lives

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There is no denying the fact that taking

risks

Use synonyms

has a crucial role in our

lives

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, so; people have to adopt

this

Linking Words

principle.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that more pros are associated with taking

risks

Use synonyms

, there is

also

Linking Words

an argument that

following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

idea may result in negative points.

This

Linking Words

essay will analyse

this

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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, some cons may happen

as a result

Linking Words

of doing missions which contain dangerous factors, that can affect humans personally or professionally.

In other words

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, when a human fails to finish a task with some

risks

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, he may be depressed.

In addition

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, some people may suffer from job loss,

hence

Linking Words

; their conditions become miserable because they cannot cover the cost of their living expenses.

For example

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, if somebody takes a huge loan from the bank to set up a project, but his project has failed, there will be a great probability for him to be in prison because he cannot return money back to the bank.

On the other hand

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, tremendous pros can be accomplished after finishing risky tasks. It is

also

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possible to say that taking

risks

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is the key to development in our

lives

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, as; it always leads to great success.

Moreover

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, if humankind does not take any risk, our

lives

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will not be changed, no progress will be achieved in any field like technology, or transportation, and life will become dull.

For instance

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, when scientists took the risk of manufacturing aircraft, they became able to invade space. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question. On balance,

however

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, I tend to believe that taking

risks

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is so important and plays a significant role, as, our

lives

Use synonyms

will not be changed for the better without taking them in various aspects of life.

Submitted by sm710129 on Mon Jan 01 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

When structuring your essay, ensure that your introduction clearly outlines what will be discussed, and each paragraph should flow logically to the next. The use of linking phrases could be improved to enhance readability and coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

Each main body paragraph should clearly present a central idea, be well-supported with explanations or examples, and smoothly transition to the next point. Aim to expand on your examples to be more specific, as this will add depth to your arguments.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt, providing a balanced view with relevant examples. While your conclusion summarises the arguments made, strive to restate your position more clearly and explain why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, if that is your opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your use of cohesive devices like 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion,' is good. However, within paragraphs, sentences could be better linked to each other, and ideas could be more cohesively ordered to improve the logical flow of information.

Task Achievement

Be careful to avoid overly general statements without concrete examples. To strengthen your Task Achievement, include specific and relevant examples to support your viewpoints. These examples should directly relate to and reinforce the argument you're making in each part of the essay.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Discuss the causes and suggest solutions for the problem

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?