Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is the positive or negative development?

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With the current advancement of

Use synonyms

smartphones

Change the noun form

smartphone

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technology, it attracts many users, especially

children

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, to use up their

time

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every day. The main root cause of

this

Linking Words

habit is a lack of control from

parents

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to limit

children

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's screen

time

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. In my opinion, it leads to a negative development since physical fitness can be declined as

children

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will find

smartphones

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more appealing.

To begin

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with, the true premise why many

children

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get addicted to their

smartphones

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parents

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who do not restrict the daily usage rate.

This

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issue can appear because many

parents

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utilize

smartphones

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a companion agents

Correct the article-noun agreement

a companion agent

companion agents

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for their kids

while

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they are away for work. Take me as an example. Since my mom is an exceptional workaholic, she does not have enough

time

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to control my screen

time

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and she tends to give me extra allowance since she cannot provide me with other alternative entertainment.

As a result

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, with no adequate restriction from our closest people, it makes

children

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spend their hours on phones.

This

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tendency can lead to a bad effect.

Children

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who

allocate

Verb problem

spend

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their whole seconds on

smartphones

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will increase their chance of becoming obese.

This

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happens as kids refuse to move their bodies frequently,

hence

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the calorie intake and fat-burning rate will be unbalanced.

For instance

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, 90% of the total

children

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populations

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population

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in America are obese and research states that the main contributing factor is the inclination to choose online games on

smartphones

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rather than outdoor activities.

This

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a concrete evidence

Remove the article

concrete evidence

a piece of concrete evidence

a shred of concrete evidence

show examples

about how excessive

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smartphones

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smartphone

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usage can lead to a bad consequence.

To sum up

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, many

children

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spend their whole seconds on their phones.

While

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parents

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' control can be a reason for

this

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problem, I believe

this

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trend is able to foster a bad impact on

children

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's health status.

aidafathiaaMon Jan 01 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Consider using a clear and cohesive structure in your essay, beginning with an introduction that lays out the topics you will be discussing. Then proceed with body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, providing strong and relevant examples to support your points. Lastly, ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your essay without introducing new information.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the prompt, including why children spend hours on smartphones and whether this is a positive or negative development. Use well-developed paragraphs to present your ideas clearly and comprehensively, providing specific examples to demonstrate your points adequately. Avoid overly broad statements and instead focus on clear, specific arguments throughout your essay.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is the positive or negative development?

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

Topic: The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Plastic bags, bottles, and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to slove this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?