IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
Improving human lives should be the most imperative point for
science
. I entirely agree with
this
 statement, because innovation has made it easy for human beings to communicate with others across the globe and
also
 to navigation easier.
Science
 has changed how communication is done throughout the world. Back in the day people used telegraph and post office to send messages to their families in different parts of the world,
whereas
, today communication is in real-time and at the touch of a button.
For instance
, it would take 4 weeks to receive a letter from the United Kingdom to Botswana until
science
 changed that. Today, if a letter is sent to Africa, in a minimum of 3 days the documents would have been received.
In addition
, innovative ways have made travel very easy,
thus
 most travel is within 24 hours. In older days, people used to use boats that took up to 2 months from one continent to another. Apart from that, the planes used would take long hours and must be fueled along the way for long flights. But, with scientific ways new models were built that made life easier for families and their loved ones in different parts of the world to take trips. In conclusion, I agree that
science
's main goal is to improve people's livelihood. Things that used to be very difficult
such
 as communication and travel have seen a boost, and
this
 provided humans with better connectivity with each other and their loved ones around the globe. I foresee it continuing its aim of transforming lives in the future.
Submitted by caroloks on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the question. While you have made clear agreements with the statement, incorporating a balanced view or counter-arguments could enhance your response and display a broader understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
In coherence and cohesion, strive for a richer variety of linking words and phrases beyond 'In addition,' and 'But,'. Experimenting with phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' 'Conversely,' or 'As a result,' can improve the flow and connect your ideas more seamlessly.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay has a decent structure, making your introduction more striking and your conclusion more reflective can greatly improve the reader's impression. Consider starting with a thought-provoking statement or question, and conclude by summarizing your position while suggesting implications or future possibilities related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: