some people argue that because the internet make it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. instead they should focus on developing children's skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, part of
the
people argue that the internet makes it so easy for pupils to access facts, Correct your spelling
some
schools
should not focus on teaching facts.Correct word choice
that schools
others
believe they should focus on improving Capitalize word
Others
children
's skills
and their connection with others.I completely agree with the second statement. The following paragraph will discuss.
On the one hand, If we use the Internet we can easily do our work
. Also
that changes teaching styles.because we like to easy way to use. So we are focusing on technical teaching methods and tools. For example
, these days, usage of physical work
decrease
. Because new high-level technology Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
used
to create robots.that replace Add a missing verb
is used
human's
Change noun form
human
work places
and teaching methods. Most of the students will adapt Correct your spelling
workplaces
that
. Other facing problems.Change preposition
to that
Moreover
, that will create unemployment
problem.after years it will bad effect on our Correct article usage
an unemployment
economic
.
Replace the word
economy
On the other hand
, student's skills
developing
and connection with other people are more important. BecauseReplace the word
development
,
our knowledge and our abilities are including Remove the comma
apply
skills
. That can create student's
future very well.Correct article usage
a student's
they
can put Capitalize word
They
their
Change preposition
in their
work
without worry. Nowadays, employers focus on children
's skills
. For instance
, degree or teaching facts are not consider
. Only consider pupils' Wrong verb form
considered
skills
. Furthermore
, with
other people's Change preposition
apply
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
is
very important in study life. That will create Correct subject-verb agreement
are
a
support and Correct article usage
apply
interesting
to study and that can decrease depression and Replace the word
interest
also
study without depression.
In conclusion, children
's skills
development is very important.so will must consider that.Also
will build good relationship
between teachers and Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
children
. That can help to achieve their goal to
Replace the word
too
easy
. Change the word
easily
As well as
that can create a good life.Submitted by ajeevatharsan on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. The introduction does not effectively paraphrase the prompt or state a clear thesis, and the body paragraphs are not well-developed with clear topic sentences or transitions. Ideas should be organized logically with appropriate paragraphing.
task achievement
Task response is limited. The essay does not fully address the prompt, as it fails to sufficiently explore the significance of facts in education. It is essential to directly respond to the extent of agreement or disagreement with clear explanations and to provide relevant examples where appropriate.