IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You have been assigned to give a networking presentation with your colleague from a different office, who you met last year. Write a letter to your colleague. In your letter: · Inform your colleague that you will be working together · Provide your initial ideas on the networking presentation · Ask for a time to meet and practice the presentation

#presentation #colleague #office #year #time #practice
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Dear Maninder, I hope
this
 letter finds you in best of the spirits and radiant health. I am writing
this
 letter to let you know that my manager has assigned me to give a presentation with you on networking at the upcoming annual event next month. In order to, begin I have a few ideas.
Firstly
, we can design our presentation on the future of networking and its uses in day-to-day life.
Secondly
, I have a few survey reports that we can include in our work to support our arguments.
Lastly
, I propose that we
must
Verb problem
apply
show examples
include a questionnaire
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
task
Add an article
the task
a task
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it will give us an insight
that
Change preposition
into
show examples
 whether the audience agrees with our viewpoint or not. Adding more to it,
this
 task requires us to work in sync
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 finish the work in time.
Therefore
, I think we must meet in person to discuss all the ideas in detail.
Moreover
, it will give us an opportunity to rehearse the content as well. I hope you like the ideas and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph covers a distinct idea for clearer communication.
task achievement
The letter covers all task points thoroughly, providing a complete response.
task achievement
Appropriate and friendly tone is maintained throughout the letter, suitable for a colleague.
coherence cohesion
Uses a logical sequence in delivering the information, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The letter starts with a warm greeting and ends with a polite closing, which is excellent for cohesion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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