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Band 6

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom

#computers #education #role #teachers #classroom
There have been immense advances in technology in most aspects of people's lives
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 in the field of education. In recent times, an increasing number of
students
 rely on computers to research
for
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apply
show examples
information and to produce a perfect paper for learners' purposes. Others believe that have decided to leave the original way of learning to get knowledge through remote learning. In
this
 essay, I will interpret both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, certain people think that the role of teachers started to fade because computers have been helping some scholars to enhance their studies
quickly
Correct quantifier usage
more quickly
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 than when compared with an original classroom.
For instance
, in the same classroom,
students
 have different intellectual capacities,
thus
 some would be tied to a slow advance in their studies the reason for
this
 of others' incapacities of understanding. In
this
 way, pupils could progress in their acquisition of knowledge at their own pace by utilizing computers
instead
 of learning from mentors.
On the other hand
, the presence of a teacher is essential for
students
 as human contact influences them in optimistic ways.
Moreover
, people realize that they are not dealing with machines but with
a
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apply
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human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 who deserve attention and respect. they
also
 learn the importance of studying in a group and respect other
students
, which helps them to improve their social skills.
Furthermore
, educators are required in the learning process because they acknowledge some
students
' deficiencies and support them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving extra exercises or even suggesting a private tutor.
Hence
,
students
 can have a bigger chance not to fail in a subject. In conclusion, the role of teachers in the learning process is still very crucial and it will continue to be in the future because no machine can replace human interaction and its consequences.
Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking phrases to seamlessly connect ideas and paragraphs for enhanced coherence.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, integrate more precise examples that directly support your arguments. This could involve citing specific studies, technological innovations, or real-world scenarios that highlight the impact of computers in education.
task response
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, offering a balanced view before stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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