Everybody sould be allowed admission to university or college programs regardless of their level of academic ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Education
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is a long experience, from primary
education
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in kindergarten until it ends at the
university
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. There are many levels of universities based on their ranks and academic
specialties
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specialities
show examples
.
While
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many people agree that
college
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can only be attended by a person with a certain level of academic ability, I agree that everyone in various ranges of academic ability levels is allowed to attend universities or
college
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programs.
This
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essay will explain the reason behind my take. 
To begin
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with, The future of a country depends on its people, especially its
students
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, and everybody has the right to contribute to the development of the country. In Indonesia, there are many
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university
Change to a plural noun
universities
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that varies based on their academic credibility. These universities provide
students
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with different academic levels by giving contributions through various programs at each
university
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.
Therefore
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, everyone has the same right to give knowledge and opinions, with the
university
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or
college
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programs as the vessel.  On the other side,
education
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can be seen not only from academic abilities but
also
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from nonacademic
skills
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such
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as communication. As a
college
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student, I have seen a lot of people with moderate academic ability but great social and negotiation
skills
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, and most of them have become leaders or someone who has a great influence on others. I believe everybody has their own
specialties
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specialities
show examples
and flaws, which do not always have to be in terms of academic
skills
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To conclude
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, everyone has the right to pursue formal
education
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in a
university
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or
college
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program, where it could depend not only on academic but non-academic
skills
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. In order to improve the academic abilities of
students
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, the government should give attention to the primary
education
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system because it determines the
students
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' abilities in the future.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear logical structure, with each paragraph developing a single main point that supports your overall argument. While the essay has sufficient structure, some points could be more fully explained and clearly linked back to the thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent in the development of your introduction and conclusion. It is important that your introduction sets up your argument effectively and that your conclusion provides a clear and comprehensive resolution to the points made throughout the essay. Your essay does well in this aspect, but the conclusion can delve deeper into summarizing the main arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with relevant examples or evidence. This adds depth to your arguments and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic. Your piece includes personal insights, but to strengthen your essay, use more detailed examples or cite specific sources that reinforce your points.
task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, providing a complete response to the question. You did well to give both sides of the argument which shows a balanced consideration.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. These should be well thought out and contribute to the overall argument or discussion of the topic. Aim for clarity and depth in the development of your points. Your essay does this to a satisfactory extent; however, some ideas can be further expanded for greater clarity.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples that support your arguments. Examples from real-world scenarios, studies, or personal experiences add strength to your essay by illustrating your points concretely. While your essay mentions personal observations, incorporating broader or more detailed examples could significantly enhance your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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